Fame

Gather some people in a room and ask them to put their hands up if they want to be famous and I bet you they will. Everyone wants to be famous but it always has a price to pay and this is what I'm gonna be delving into. People are generally quite nosey, as far as my understanding. Celebrities are like that window that allows people to look in and see how different or similar they are to each other. Famous people are a laugh. Tom Cruise, for instance is short, and that's funny. And yet you know who I'm on about because he's a well known actor, he's appeared in films you have probably seen, and he is friends with David Beckham, which has to be a round of applause for sustainability. How does he cope? Probably the wealth. That's what people really want. The wealth to buy all the fast cars, the big houses and the helicopters. And the way to get that is to either be a lottery winner, which is a game of chance. Honestly, you have more chance of winning Mouse Trap. Unless you're really lucky, that is. So, the next way to become easily wealthy without having to do much is to be famous. And people would like to get famous easily, which logically doesn't add up.

Sir Alan Sugar rolls in his Rolls(-Royce) because he has worked incredibly hard to get his wealth and so has Tom Cruise, no matter how short he is. The same goes with Bill Gates. Apparently, if he kept his dollar notes under his mattress, it would take him 5 years to hit the floor if he falls out of bed. Some people want to get from A (which is normal, everyday person) to C (incredibly rich) without the B part (HARD WORK). They'll do it any way necessary. Cue reality TV. I'm am of course referring to Big Brother, X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Quality TV it isn't. It is only watchable because we like to see people we don't know fail. That's the only reason I seem to watch it. To see Simon Cowell shun a nobody. It makes us feel better about ourselves. I don't particularly like what the end product is either. I say end product because the only winner is Simon Cowell. And also put this in perspective. The boy band JLS from X Factor (2008) have got a number one selling single in the UK charts. It's theirs forever and ever and no one can take that away with them. The thing is, they didn't even win. How did that happen? Alexandra Burke came in in first and that's been that. It's claimed that she is in the process of making an album. Without releasing a single before the album is out to prove that work is being done? Hmmm, we do have a problem. The same goes with another X Factor winner called Leon Jackson (2007), got DROPPED by his label, Sony BGM for not selling enough albums. That's right, they jilted him! He's now touring with runner-ups Same Difference, who if you covered in wax, would rival Babybell in cheesiness. It's all very hollow. Big Brother is probably the worst culprit. The difference between the Big Brother and a zoo is the camera coverage. It's no surprise that after 2010, it will be axed by Channel 4. Because it's boring the life out of everyone. It's past its sell by date. Once upon a time, TV could be held responsible for making all matter of decent shows. Now it wants to vomits out reality TV which, and there's no other way of putting this, cheap. Actors, scriptwriters and other experts cost and it's simple to just get a handful of wannabe fame seekers, put them in house together or get them to sing and take it from there, keeping the people in who you want to keep and sling the rest out on their sorry backsides where they belong. All with a phone call of course, giving Mr Tvchannelman a hefty profit and hardly a blind bit of notice to whoever wins. Winning should be rewarding and glorious but in this case, it's as fake as a Japanese watch sold at a market.

The only way to truly succeed is to work really hard. The one's who do receive fame should be in my opinion, actors, musicians (as opposed to the tosh X Factor gives you. I mean proper instrumentalists and proper singers and vocalists, not karaoke singers), comedians (because we all need to laugh) and some sport personalities to name but a few. F1 drivers give a bit of a spark when something potentially goes wrong. Rugby features tough guys against more tough guy. Generally being a battle. Golf...ah, that's where it ends. Unless one of them gets struck by lightning conducted by their club. Footballers aren't sportsmen. I don't see how kicking a bit of rubber up and down a field for 90 minutes should result in a player getting paid more than a brain or heart surgeon who can save a precious human life. Football isn't a sport. It's a popularity contest between big egos. Christiano Ronaldo was sold to Real Madrid by Manchester United Carpets and Beds for and incredible amount of money. £80 million! Why? If I had £80 million to spend, I'd buy him. And I wouldn't even use him for football. He would do the jobs I find boring and tedious like pulling up weeds. He'd also make a very good dartboard. That'll be £80 million well spent if that's the case. He's 24 and he owned a Ferrari 599, smashed it up and got let off scott free. If I was to do that, the expense in insurance would be enough to wake the dead. "Oh it's cos he's a footballer!" Footballer shouldn't be a title. It should be a punishment. I'm even going to send in my idea to the Football Association to put a time bomb inside the football and only I'll know when it will detonate. Which'll show them whose boss. They don't deserve any of the credit. Writing about the Bomball (as I will now call it), I realise the same thing could be done with Big Brother. To spice things up, put a revolver in there and see who resorts to it. Alternatively, they could all play reverse Russian Roulette. As in, take one bullet out and leave the rest in. Do this with 12 guns and give them all one and see who clicks first. Note: May need to do a lot of window/mirror cleaning after this takes place. I also don't like the fact that some of them take their status for granted and flaunt it. But I do like to make fun. Here we go... Katie Price - also known as glamour model Jordan (I'm using the term "glamour" loosely. In fact I don't even want to use the word "glamour.") - recently mentioned in a newspaper, and I quote "...It's not like I can't pull anything..." Fine then. She can start with pulling a cart and then move on up to stagecoaches if she's finding that too easy! It's the media gone mad the majority of the time. The otherway around is also true. What also makes me laugh is the fact that some of them don't like being under that media spotlight. They don't like it when they're photographed stumbling out of a cab after a few drinks. Some of them despise being photographed full stop. Which doesn't make sense. They want the fame, the money, the big houses and whatever but they go into a hissy fit when they're seen at their worst.

And when they get it right, they do indeed get it right. Steven Hawking is famous for having an astonishing mind. Sir Paul McCartney is famous for being in one of the biggest pop bands on earth, The Beatles. Johnny Depp is extremely untypecast as an actor, meaning he can play almost anyone from Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, to the dark and sinister demon barber, Sweeney Todd. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is up there for being the Terminator and the Governor of California. You can go one better with Morgan Freeman. God and The President of the United States. This makes a lot more sense. These are what people really want to be. But the Big Brother route isn't an option. Because it's being axed (I'm getting a buzz just from writing that. I'm going to do it again. Big Brother is being axed). Put the hard work in and you'll be rewarded. Now, get them same people in a room, get them to read this and ask them "who wants to be famous?" For those who think about and plan it out, it may just well work. For those of them who just put their hand up without so much as thinking, send them to line up for Britain's Got Talent. I dunno, we'll get them to juggle fire engines.