Music is a beautiful thing! Not one person on this planet can stop themselves from tapping their foot in time to a catchy song. Erm...but...er...the deaf. Yeah, we'll scrap that and start again.
Music is a beautiful thing (I'm keeping that bit). Chances are you'll find a song inspiring. Music can give you motivation. It can help through the lows and it can help through the highs. Music is everywhere but this isn't about music. Behind music is a skeleton of thorough going-ons and important boxes that need to be ticked. The first box is probably learning how to play an instrument which has taken me most of my teenage life (and still learning). You learn how to play the instrument and then you start learning how to play songs. If, like me, you play the guitar, the first song you learn to play will probably be Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple.
So you've started to learn songs, now where do you? You can either continue learning how to play songs and eventually grow up to become a tribute act/covers band, which is fine but lacks a creative spark; or you find out what goes with what and what words and whatever and you write a song all of your own. It's the musical equivalent of a blank canvas to an artist. A covers band is like taking a picture of Leonardo Di Vinci's Last Supper, printing it out and sticking it on your wall saying "I did that." No, you've just made another version of it. On glossy paper. Whereas with this "blank canvas" you could make anything, say "I did that" and probably get more praise for it. And that is exactly what I have done.
In my entire live music career with my band (Delayed Finality), we have only played one cover and that was of Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand in a school music contest. Now when the audience at the end cheered, I didn't know if they were cheering for the delivery me, Matt, Rowan and past member Danny gave, or for the song. This was probably my incentive to pursue with my own songs. I can remember writing Last Star in the Sky, trying to get the lyrics finished in one night along with a chord line before 12 o'clock. I even remember that it was the 20th July 2007. But for the love of me, I can't remember how I managed to get the first chords or even the first lines of lyrics. The title was simple. Sometimes on a clear night, all you can see in the sky is one star and the moon. Now, both you and I know there are more, probably on the other side of the house. So, what I did next was genius. It's not the only star, it's the last star. Ahh, sounds more romantic. First song - done. And it turned out to be a rather alternative rock ballad, not the prissy sort of crap the Jonas Brothers vomit out. Which is good (I'm not going to tell you any lyrics or who it's about, or indeed any of them. You're going to have to do it the old fashioned way and go out and listen to it for yourself). The was a good feeling of satisfaction when the song was finished and the following morning when it got transfered onto the electric guitar, it sound amazing. I wrote this. It was my song. Chris Martin better look out! A year rolled by, I got a brand new Fender 1972 Telecaster Deluxe, my pride and joy, wrote more songs and had played that silly music competition and was ready for the next round. In that next round, it got serious. The judges of the competition were looking for a range of criteria, one of them being 'future potential' so bear this in mind. We went out there with one of my songs; Equipment of the Futile - a heavy brooding alternative rock song a million miles from Last Star. Or at least it should have been if the sound technician wasn't as thick as what he was on the night. We were the only one's who managed to have a song written especially for playing live and we didn't get through to the final because we're not squeeky clean like little Jenny singing a Sugababes song! And, surprisingly, we haven't even heard of any of the other acts ever since. The only one who has something on the go, was mine, Rowan and Matt's friend Charlie who was in a band called The Sweetest Prosecution. Mainly because he's in a band...oh...that band...Delayed Finality...that's it. We're the only one's still on the go. But my point is, if you think you can do it, you can do it.
Picture the scene. It's a rather warm June evening. I'm awaiting to go onto stage for the first time as Delayed Finality at a local Lincoln venue called The Travellers Rest. There's a band playing before we go on later in the evening and I'm enjoying the music and getting to know my surroundings before we go onto that stage. At this point I'm thinking rather contemptly "There's only 4/5 people actually watching this band (as well as everyone else, just not "getting involved like these few guys are")" I thought if our set was anything like this, then it'd be a nice enjoyable evening, pack up, go home and that be the end of that night...
Wrong-o! As the set list ran, more and more people started cramming into this not-very-big function room. And finally the band before us were playing. By now, my, and no doubt the other members, nerves were very edgy but I wasn't going to pull out of something like this. The band before us finished and left us with around about 50 - 60 hungry music enthusiasts, none of them moving from the last set - they were ready to see us. We set up and roared into life. Now either the crowd were enjoying our music or they were so blind drunk, they were just making noises and our ears made them out as cheers. But the latter was wrong. They weren't drunk. They were enjoying the songs me and Rowan had written.
We have a song called Equilibrium. When this gig was played, it was called Donderkoodal and it was very different to how we interprate it today. It was a rather poppy-cheesy lighter indie styled song (now it's an arpeggiated synth driven beast of a tune). Cheap and cheerful sort of thing. It had predominant 'heys' in the instrumental break and the crowd were singing them back to us as if they had heard the song before. It was really bizarre! This was the first time it had ever been played live. EVER! How did the possibly know? After closing with Equipment of the Futile, the one that officially started the road to this point, we left with people wanting "more...! More!" Mission complete. The ruptious applause was fantastic. It gave me such a buzz and no one was cruel about us being complete novices at doing something like this. It was like they were giving us some space. Although, you can imagine a room full of 50 people, there wasn't really much space to give. Afterwards we were knocking about, trying to calm down and people were coming up to us congratulating us for our achievement. "That was a pretty good set. How often have you guys played" they would say. "This is our first time" we replied. "Really? Wow!"
Although that's not the end of the story. Remember that first band that only had a few people watching. It was thier last gig. And along came 4 teenagers with all the live knowledge of a doorstop and with songs that had came out of our minds and been transfered into music we stole the show.
Now, song writting isn't all glamour. I have to have the right time to write a song. If I'm not in the mood, I can't do (that sounds a bit familiar to something else). But when the creativity starts, I even astound myself. I don't like to beat around the bush, but I think my song Last Star in the Sky is a lyrical masterpiece. Metaphors, imagery and other words you probably came across when studying English at school. I mention that I wrote it 2007 and 3 years down the line, a few lyrics have changed from the original but the basic story of the song is the same. I tell you. Rhyming "dream" with "meteor stream" is genius! The whole song is. However, like I say, it isn't all glamour. My niavity somewhat showed itself in the songs that came after it. I wrote one called "Want You Dead" which, if you've ever heard The Gutterati by The Fratellis and Woman by Wolfmother, you'd know where the inspiration comes from. It was a very scratchy and very rolling, heavy, distorted, pile of rock. The lyrics were terrible. I had no idea how I could have made a song of such calibre of Last Star and then suddenly all of my fantastic sounding lyrics had suddenly gone. Want You Dead was rubbish! The words of the rhyme were awful. "Chain" and "brain" aren't very lyrical. Yet I thought they were. I even got the words "kiling spree" in there. Well...you need some sort of link. I can actually remember the words "Want You Dead" but remember what the original rhyme was. Then, along came a song called "Bullet Time Motion" Bullet Time Motion is actually a media term. Put simply - Neo from The Matrix in the big fight scenes. That's Bullet Time Motion. I've just read the lyrics to the song and some of them aren't all that bad, but musically...noooo! If that wasn't bad enough, "Ghosts" was even worse. That was 3 songs with bad writting, in a row! Things got really better with the aptly named Save Us which was followed by the equally good High Flying, Equilibrium and Promise. These must have set me up properly because the songs that came after these were brilliant. Lyrically sound, musically pleasant and hardly any spelling mistakes! Songs now only need a bit of jiggling around or if I find something that sounds a lot better in possition of something else. And that's it.
So song writting. It's essential. It's fantastic. It's a pain in the backside sometimes too. Forgotten took me 11 months to finish. That was almost a year. But when that got finished, I got the bug and wrote I'll Show You Where To Go within a couple of weeks. Now I'm still writting one that's been on the go since the beginning of the year, still called (New One) but I've gotta find the right time to write it. Sometimes when it's very quiet and I'm a little bit tired, I enter a sort of trance-like-state, and that's how I think I managed to write Last Star. And also how I probably can't remember how I came up with any of it! Because it was late at night. That writting songs late at night made me write Late At Night. I found inspiration from doing something later than what I normally should have done. Well, part of the inspirations come from stuff like that. Other inspiration comes from...
(I know it looks like I haven't been bothered to finish the blog, I'm just leaving you on a cliff hanger)
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Wednesday, 13 January 2010
Snow
As I type this it is currently the 13th of January, just gone 11 o'clock. We, as a nation, are currently facing weather disaster! Snow. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Some one has surely got this all wrong. Disaster? Since when was snow a disaster? Snow is a wonderful thing! Snow unites people. I remember in February last year, I was rather sociable. It brought me and my friends together. A year later we get some of the white stuff and now all of a sudden, we go into panic overload.
Currently gritters are running out of grit. Schools have been closed and I am suffering from a sore throat that whenever I giggle, sounds like I'm on the peak of my voice breaking. Although that's not a distaster. The news has been stating it's a disaster. What's lacking is common sense. You here these people of losing their lives by falling into ice, which is tragic, I make that utterly clear. But what are you doing on the ice in the first place? Poke the bear for too long, he's going to have you on toast! Get off the damn ice. "What happens if I jump up and down on it?" You're going to fall through.
"Don't go out unless it's completely necessary." What is completely necessary? Stocking up I can understand. Work is necessary, yet for some people it could take 3 hours to get there due to bad traffic. Needing to go to the hospital is necessary, especially if you have an appointment, but if everyone took the same "Nah, it's too cold to go to work. It's not necessary" approach like school teachers do, then you're going to be left knocking at the door, wondering where everyone is.
It's ridiculous! Stop going into a mad, frantic panic NEWS PEOPLE and go sledging!
Currently gritters are running out of grit. Schools have been closed and I am suffering from a sore throat that whenever I giggle, sounds like I'm on the peak of my voice breaking. Although that's not a distaster. The news has been stating it's a disaster. What's lacking is common sense. You here these people of losing their lives by falling into ice, which is tragic, I make that utterly clear. But what are you doing on the ice in the first place? Poke the bear for too long, he's going to have you on toast! Get off the damn ice. "What happens if I jump up and down on it?" You're going to fall through.
"Don't go out unless it's completely necessary." What is completely necessary? Stocking up I can understand. Work is necessary, yet for some people it could take 3 hours to get there due to bad traffic. Needing to go to the hospital is necessary, especially if you have an appointment, but if everyone took the same "Nah, it's too cold to go to work. It's not necessary" approach like school teachers do, then you're going to be left knocking at the door, wondering where everyone is.
It's ridiculous! Stop going into a mad, frantic panic NEWS PEOPLE and go sledging!
The Yoo Ess of Ay
Last year in the month known as October, I went to a little place that you may know called America for a two week holiday with t'family. And I was impressed with what is there. Florida, yes, is a vacation place but at least it gave a bit of the Americana feel to compare it with Britain. And all that I can say is that America have got the right end of the stick and we...well...are holding the stick, but not really proud of holding the stick. My point is that Britain is a fantastic place but America don't do things by halves, they go the full hog.
Here is a short list of the things what I thought stood out in America:
Cars - In America, cars do the same as what they do anywhere. They take people from one place to another without the need of walking. Over here, we are now being urged to drive 5 miles less a day. Where I live, that means, I don't need a car to go into town. Now over there, it takes forever to get anywhere. The roads are so monstrously colossal, highway roads bank, British Satnavs don't compute properly and you can end up stopping up to 8 lanes of traffic just to cross the road. 8 lanes of traffic is the equivalent to a motorway. And who is brave enough to cross a motorway? Apart from the clinically insane, of course. In the UK, you press the little white button at a crossing and wait for the little green man to beep you across. US has the sort of big shouty button that would normally launch a missile. And there's a countdown of 30 seconds or so warning you that if you don't, you'll end up in a nasty way. Cars go through red lights if the road is clear, even if you're still crossing. Now, the cars themselves are nothing short of epic. Everyone drives either a muscle car, an SUV/Pickup or a truck. The hire car we had was a Ford Focus. "Oh, not much special there," you're probably saying. "We have them over here." No we don't. This is the American market Focus, which is bigger and more powerful. Dodge Chargers, Chevrolet Camaros, Ford Mustangs are all considered 'family cars.' Put into perspective, if you see a Hummer H1 go down your street, you'll probably think that it was a big car. And they are, I've been in one and they make airplane hangers look small. Yet there are cars that tower over the Hummer. They are massive! And it's all down to the fuel. It's cheap in America and the tax on cars isn't as big as our tax, so they can afford huge cars. The only European cars I saw were Mini Coopers, the occasional BMW and Mercedes-Benz and one Aston Martin. Oh and Opel Corsas which had been tricked out to burn rubber in a stunt show, and that was it!
Disney - The main reason why we went to America was because of Walt Disney World. Whether you're 7, 17, or 70, Disneyland (as it colloquially known) is an amazing place. Split into 4 themed parks (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios), 2 water parks (Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon) and other points of interest (Downtown Disney, The Boardwalk and World of Sport), Walt Disney World covers a vast area of 42 squared miles. The theme parks are then split up into smaller parks! It is bigger than Manchester, it is Americas biggest employer and generates millions each year, making it the worlds most popular and highest earning theme parks in ever! And everyone seems so happy, as like being glum is a punishable offence. Not saying that WDW forces their employees to be full of glee, that would be terrible. I genuinely think the staff, or "cast members," really enjoy working there. All 60,000+ of them. See, they don't even call them staff. It has it's own transport links with it's Steam railroad going around Magic Kingdom; the all-torque and growly engine noise of the Walt Disney Tram system to take you from the parking lot to the parks; the monorail, which at one point goes through a hotel; the hotels; bus links and even a ferry and boat system to take you over the lake. I'm waffling...what you really want is the childish stuff. The rides! The adrenaline pumps. The bits you want to know.
Magic Kingdom, home to the famous Cinderella Castle, is the epicentre of WDW. It features the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, one of the parks well known roller coasters; Splash Mountain, Space Mountain in the futuristic Tomorrowland and Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion, which both become films because the rides were so popular. Not forgetting the rides and shows that also make part of the experience. All topped off with a magical firework display set in the sky behind the Castle.
Ultra Modern EPCOT Centre boast the most futuristic layout ever, despite being designed in the 60's by Mr Disney himself, and 50 years on, still looks incredibly before it's time. The giant golf ball 'Spaceship Earth' dominates the skyline where ever you are in the park. Being a futuristic park, the rides follow similar pursuit. MISSION: Space is a simulator that takes you to Mars and it is so realistic, you think you're actually taking off; General Motors Test Track accelerates around it's track at over 60mph and Soarin' flies you over California. And that's not all. World Showcase sends around the globe, all on the shore of one lake, with restaurants giving you local cuisine. It was one of the only places in America I could get a fish and chips. But you don't go half way across the world to get a taste of what it is to be English. But it's got it all. France (complete with Eiffel Tower), Japan, Italy and Germany are just some of the places worth visiting. When that's all done, you wait for the sun to set, beacons light with flames around the lake and you wait in awe to watch a 20 minute water, pyro, laser and light display IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth. Never have I seen fireworks used to such an intense level
Animal Kingdom is the home to Disney's Zoo. Hmmm, it's not really a zoo. It's more of an Safari-without-being-in-Africa. Wildlife galour! Tigers, elephants, giraffes and hippos. It's got them all in simulated land all set onto the backdrop of The Tree of Life. The very creative and surprising Expedition: Everest is the parks party and flagship ride; Kali River Rapids is extremely soothing in the blistering heat and DinoLand USA's DINOSAUR gives you the chance to go back in time to hunt down Aladar, the Iguanodon. Then on the entertainment side of the scale is the stage musical of Finding Nemo which is very clever. Not just as zoo, y'know...
Hollywood Studios is WDW's centre of all things film with Mickey's Sorcerers Hat firmly ahead of you as you wander down Hollywood Boulevard. Twilight Zones Tower of Terror immediately steals your eye though. A periless 199ft drop in doomed elevator 13 in the Hollywood Tower. Just beyond this is the Aerosmith Rock'n'roller Coaster which I never went on because the cue was an hour and half long. There's a lot of 'behind the scenes' shows too with the backlot tour showing items from past Disney Movies, Walts private plane and the disaster situation and Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show featuring full sized radio controlled cars, fire, explosions and of course, car stunts. You also get a chance to see Disney's Oscars and original sketches from Snow White!
The water parks were particularly impressive. Whilst they have water slides and flumes, Typhoon Lagoon shows off Miss Tilly, a boat impaled on a mountain due to a savage storm creating the layout, and a six foot high surf pool. Oh, not a wave pool, that's not big enough. If you had a board, you could ride the thing back to the shore. Blizzard Beach combines both snow and sand. Because it's never been done before. The story goes that Florida got hit by a blizzard and resulted in melt-water creating the slides. But you should look up. Look up 120ft to be exact. Summit Plummet is the second tallest water slides in the world. It only takes 2 seconds to get from 120ft to ground level with a top speed of 60mph. You go so fast, you skim across the water at the end of the slide rather than splash and end up with a rather painful back. But you gotta do it again. Both the water parks have artificial flowing rivers. You just sit in a ring and watch the world go by. You can't buy class like that.
As you can see, the parks are impressive. Fireworks, parades, rides all count for the happiest place on Earth no matter what your age (Wow, I should have put that in a separate blog).
Universal Studios - Turning out to be a rather themeparky holiday really. Uni-Studios is just as epic as Disney, just not as big. Home to the ride with a soundtrack, the Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rocket, home to the fierce and highly complex darkride, Revenge of the Mummy, Jaws strikes again on a short boat tour, ride out a Twister, just like the movie just with added realism, and the clinically insane Simpson Ride. Insane but clever! That doesn't make any sense, but I'm writing it so there! And that's only one of the parks. Ran out of time to visit the other one. Shame, although needs be...
Weather - You can't blame the Americans for the weather. It would be good to, but you can't. Aircon! Aahh...You walk into a shop to cool down. You go outside to warm up. Basically summed up. Basically, nighttime was 92 degrees Fahrenheit. 33.3 in Celsius. 33! It was like the moon was no only reflecting light off the sun, but also heat! Walk outside and the heat hits you like brick wall. No outrageous storms seeing that it was hurricane season. Can't complain because it was the hottest October since the 1960's. Did have an electric storm though which was spectacular, lighting up the sky.
Food and Drink/Restaurants - Probably one of America's guilty consciences. The food. Steaks, chicken, chips, more steaks, shish-kabobs, more steak, ice cream, chocolate, pancakes, crispy bacon, pizza, burgers, scrambled egg, beans, sausages, maple syrup, muffins, waffles, all you can eat salad bars, even more steak, spaghetti bolognese, brownies and chicken nuggets. And that's just one meal! Seriously, you can see why Americans are in the shape what they are. Food makes their world go round. It also makes them go round. You're never too far away from a McDonald's, Burger King or Taco Bell. One chain, Cici's, was just a stones-throw away from the apartment and it was so good, it had a miniature golf course on top. I have never seen anything like it before. You go for your (all you can eat) Italian dinner and then finish it with a round of golf. Breakfast is oh-so-simple too. If you've got a busy day planned out, ie. don't particularly want to eat anything later, you could have 3 courses for breakfast (I did). And free refills on coffee (or whatever your drinking). Shopping Malls have food courts and if you wanted a snack, just go around and take all the free samples you can get your hands on. It's that simple. Milkshakes are done properly there too, although I'd like to call them 'Sugar injections.' Coke is sold in big bottles to next nothing dollars and so is Candy. It is hard to find the right thing specifically but it's far from bad. Hershey's chocolate is horrible though.
Shopping - The Florida Mall was a highlight. Makes Meadowhall look like a market. It houses the shops such as the worlds biggest M&M shop. I didn't even know M&M's had so much branded tat. M&M guitars, M&M trousers, even an M&M NASCAR, for crying out loud! All that, and I never walked out with a packet of M&M's. It's also very cheap. Although, I could not find a pair of size 8 Converse Low-tops in Enamel Blue for love nor money. Things are big. Too big to search thoroughly for. Big like Walmart. Basically an empty aircraft hanger filled with anything you can think of. Literally anything. Food? Yep. Books? Yep. Gardening equipment? Yep. McDonald's? Don't be silly. This is America, of course there is! Yep, you read that correctly. Sometimes things can be a bit expensive. Axe Dark Temptation (US Lynx deodorant) costs $8 for a can. That's nearly £5! Maybe they think side effects include being turned into real chocolate, just like the advert. Use sparingly!
The Sky - There was a skywriter!
The People - "Have a nice day!" "No, you have a nice day." The people are very kind. You just ask a waitress to refill your glass, she'll go away and do it with no fuss what-so-ever. We had a conversation with our waiter one night at Ponderossa Steak House about steaks after the meal, and he told us the tale of how he tried to conquer a 60oz steak to get onto a wall of fame but to no avail. Apparently skinnier guys get along better with the steak. Looks like I should have took up the challenge! And yet it was an engaging conversation, bizarrely enough. There are a lot of foreigners there though (even though I was the foreigner). Since Florida is basically Americas Blackpool - Americans go there for a holiday too - there is a big Hispanic community. Pair them up with the heat and you do think you are in Spain. The strange thing was, you travel all that distance to meet someone from Britain working in Disney World selling fish and chips. How do you get a job like that?
The Security - They're all very safe too. Getting into America is very unnerving. Iris scan, fingerprint scan and a Passport Control officer who looks like he's not had a very good day with a gun in his holster at the airport. Don't annoy him or you're not going to have a good day either. You also have to fill in a form to get into the country, stating who you are and why you're going. They kinda have to, judging what happened in 2001. But it didn't stop their. Even Disney World wanted your fingerprint to get in. Whatever the weather, they're not going to let you do what anything illegal. They have records!
The Patriotism - The Americans are a very patriotic. There's the stars and stripes flying everywhere. They are proud to be American. And although British patriotism is different, it's nothing like Americans. If we were to embrace something like flying the flag, someone is bound to offended, which is why we don't do it. Unfortunately. I am proud to be British but it's something like that that makes me admire there country. But not as much as my own.
Erm...have I said how big things are? I think I have. Nope not all of them. The travelators. Taking you from Universal Studios to the parking lot and vice versa. They're big too. Things generally are big. Very Big. Britain isn't. There is a lot of stuff one state alone can generate. We only spent a fortnight there and normally when you go on an 2 week holiday, you end up getting bored and wished you only spent 10 days there. This isn't. We ran out of time. You can't run out of time on holiday. That's not the point. Just goes to show, it's not where you go, it's what you make of it. One problem though. Please. For the love of god. Stop playing the same song over and over and over and over again on the radio, Florida. Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus is good if your a teenage girl but torture if your everyone else. Stop it! That's basically a snippet of my impression of the US. See what I was getting on about with that stick metaphor? No, me neither. And all without a single cliche. HEEEEEE-YAWWWW!
Here is a short list of the things what I thought stood out in America:
Cars - In America, cars do the same as what they do anywhere. They take people from one place to another without the need of walking. Over here, we are now being urged to drive 5 miles less a day. Where I live, that means, I don't need a car to go into town. Now over there, it takes forever to get anywhere. The roads are so monstrously colossal, highway roads bank, British Satnavs don't compute properly and you can end up stopping up to 8 lanes of traffic just to cross the road. 8 lanes of traffic is the equivalent to a motorway. And who is brave enough to cross a motorway? Apart from the clinically insane, of course. In the UK, you press the little white button at a crossing and wait for the little green man to beep you across. US has the sort of big shouty button that would normally launch a missile. And there's a countdown of 30 seconds or so warning you that if you don't, you'll end up in a nasty way. Cars go through red lights if the road is clear, even if you're still crossing. Now, the cars themselves are nothing short of epic. Everyone drives either a muscle car, an SUV/Pickup or a truck. The hire car we had was a Ford Focus. "Oh, not much special there," you're probably saying. "We have them over here." No we don't. This is the American market Focus, which is bigger and more powerful. Dodge Chargers, Chevrolet Camaros, Ford Mustangs are all considered 'family cars.' Put into perspective, if you see a Hummer H1 go down your street, you'll probably think that it was a big car. And they are, I've been in one and they make airplane hangers look small. Yet there are cars that tower over the Hummer. They are massive! And it's all down to the fuel. It's cheap in America and the tax on cars isn't as big as our tax, so they can afford huge cars. The only European cars I saw were Mini Coopers, the occasional BMW and Mercedes-Benz and one Aston Martin. Oh and Opel Corsas which had been tricked out to burn rubber in a stunt show, and that was it!
Disney - The main reason why we went to America was because of Walt Disney World. Whether you're 7, 17, or 70, Disneyland (as it colloquially known) is an amazing place. Split into 4 themed parks (Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios), 2 water parks (Blizzard Beach and Typhoon Lagoon) and other points of interest (Downtown Disney, The Boardwalk and World of Sport), Walt Disney World covers a vast area of 42 squared miles. The theme parks are then split up into smaller parks! It is bigger than Manchester, it is Americas biggest employer and generates millions each year, making it the worlds most popular and highest earning theme parks in ever! And everyone seems so happy, as like being glum is a punishable offence. Not saying that WDW forces their employees to be full of glee, that would be terrible. I genuinely think the staff, or "cast members," really enjoy working there. All 60,000+ of them. See, they don't even call them staff. It has it's own transport links with it's Steam railroad going around Magic Kingdom; the all-torque and growly engine noise of the Walt Disney Tram system to take you from the parking lot to the parks; the monorail, which at one point goes through a hotel; the hotels; bus links and even a ferry and boat system to take you over the lake. I'm waffling...what you really want is the childish stuff. The rides! The adrenaline pumps. The bits you want to know.
Magic Kingdom, home to the famous Cinderella Castle, is the epicentre of WDW. It features the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, one of the parks well known roller coasters; Splash Mountain, Space Mountain in the futuristic Tomorrowland and Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion, which both become films because the rides were so popular. Not forgetting the rides and shows that also make part of the experience. All topped off with a magical firework display set in the sky behind the Castle.
Ultra Modern EPCOT Centre boast the most futuristic layout ever, despite being designed in the 60's by Mr Disney himself, and 50 years on, still looks incredibly before it's time. The giant golf ball 'Spaceship Earth' dominates the skyline where ever you are in the park. Being a futuristic park, the rides follow similar pursuit. MISSION: Space is a simulator that takes you to Mars and it is so realistic, you think you're actually taking off; General Motors Test Track accelerates around it's track at over 60mph and Soarin' flies you over California. And that's not all. World Showcase sends around the globe, all on the shore of one lake, with restaurants giving you local cuisine. It was one of the only places in America I could get a fish and chips. But you don't go half way across the world to get a taste of what it is to be English. But it's got it all. France (complete with Eiffel Tower), Japan, Italy and Germany are just some of the places worth visiting. When that's all done, you wait for the sun to set, beacons light with flames around the lake and you wait in awe to watch a 20 minute water, pyro, laser and light display IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth. Never have I seen fireworks used to such an intense level
Animal Kingdom is the home to Disney's Zoo. Hmmm, it's not really a zoo. It's more of an Safari-without-being-in-Africa. Wildlife galour! Tigers, elephants, giraffes and hippos. It's got them all in simulated land all set onto the backdrop of The Tree of Life. The very creative and surprising Expedition: Everest is the parks party and flagship ride; Kali River Rapids is extremely soothing in the blistering heat and DinoLand USA's DINOSAUR gives you the chance to go back in time to hunt down Aladar, the Iguanodon. Then on the entertainment side of the scale is the stage musical of Finding Nemo which is very clever. Not just as zoo, y'know...
Hollywood Studios is WDW's centre of all things film with Mickey's Sorcerers Hat firmly ahead of you as you wander down Hollywood Boulevard. Twilight Zones Tower of Terror immediately steals your eye though. A periless 199ft drop in doomed elevator 13 in the Hollywood Tower. Just beyond this is the Aerosmith Rock'n'roller Coaster which I never went on because the cue was an hour and half long. There's a lot of 'behind the scenes' shows too with the backlot tour showing items from past Disney Movies, Walts private plane and the disaster situation and Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show featuring full sized radio controlled cars, fire, explosions and of course, car stunts. You also get a chance to see Disney's Oscars and original sketches from Snow White!
The water parks were particularly impressive. Whilst they have water slides and flumes, Typhoon Lagoon shows off Miss Tilly, a boat impaled on a mountain due to a savage storm creating the layout, and a six foot high surf pool. Oh, not a wave pool, that's not big enough. If you had a board, you could ride the thing back to the shore. Blizzard Beach combines both snow and sand. Because it's never been done before. The story goes that Florida got hit by a blizzard and resulted in melt-water creating the slides. But you should look up. Look up 120ft to be exact. Summit Plummet is the second tallest water slides in the world. It only takes 2 seconds to get from 120ft to ground level with a top speed of 60mph. You go so fast, you skim across the water at the end of the slide rather than splash and end up with a rather painful back. But you gotta do it again. Both the water parks have artificial flowing rivers. You just sit in a ring and watch the world go by. You can't buy class like that.
As you can see, the parks are impressive. Fireworks, parades, rides all count for the happiest place on Earth no matter what your age (Wow, I should have put that in a separate blog).
Universal Studios - Turning out to be a rather themeparky holiday really. Uni-Studios is just as epic as Disney, just not as big. Home to the ride with a soundtrack, the Hollywood Rip, Ride, Rocket, home to the fierce and highly complex darkride, Revenge of the Mummy, Jaws strikes again on a short boat tour, ride out a Twister, just like the movie just with added realism, and the clinically insane Simpson Ride. Insane but clever! That doesn't make any sense, but I'm writing it so there! And that's only one of the parks. Ran out of time to visit the other one. Shame, although needs be...
Weather - You can't blame the Americans for the weather. It would be good to, but you can't. Aircon! Aahh...You walk into a shop to cool down. You go outside to warm up. Basically summed up. Basically, nighttime was 92 degrees Fahrenheit. 33.3 in Celsius. 33! It was like the moon was no only reflecting light off the sun, but also heat! Walk outside and the heat hits you like brick wall. No outrageous storms seeing that it was hurricane season. Can't complain because it was the hottest October since the 1960's. Did have an electric storm though which was spectacular, lighting up the sky.
Food and Drink/Restaurants - Probably one of America's guilty consciences. The food. Steaks, chicken, chips, more steaks, shish-kabobs, more steak, ice cream, chocolate, pancakes, crispy bacon, pizza, burgers, scrambled egg, beans, sausages, maple syrup, muffins, waffles, all you can eat salad bars, even more steak, spaghetti bolognese, brownies and chicken nuggets. And that's just one meal! Seriously, you can see why Americans are in the shape what they are. Food makes their world go round. It also makes them go round. You're never too far away from a McDonald's, Burger King or Taco Bell. One chain, Cici's, was just a stones-throw away from the apartment and it was so good, it had a miniature golf course on top. I have never seen anything like it before. You go for your (all you can eat) Italian dinner and then finish it with a round of golf. Breakfast is oh-so-simple too. If you've got a busy day planned out, ie. don't particularly want to eat anything later, you could have 3 courses for breakfast (I did). And free refills on coffee (or whatever your drinking). Shopping Malls have food courts and if you wanted a snack, just go around and take all the free samples you can get your hands on. It's that simple. Milkshakes are done properly there too, although I'd like to call them 'Sugar injections.' Coke is sold in big bottles to next nothing dollars and so is Candy. It is hard to find the right thing specifically but it's far from bad. Hershey's chocolate is horrible though.
Shopping - The Florida Mall was a highlight. Makes Meadowhall look like a market. It houses the shops such as the worlds biggest M&M shop. I didn't even know M&M's had so much branded tat. M&M guitars, M&M trousers, even an M&M NASCAR, for crying out loud! All that, and I never walked out with a packet of M&M's. It's also very cheap. Although, I could not find a pair of size 8 Converse Low-tops in Enamel Blue for love nor money. Things are big. Too big to search thoroughly for. Big like Walmart. Basically an empty aircraft hanger filled with anything you can think of. Literally anything. Food? Yep. Books? Yep. Gardening equipment? Yep. McDonald's? Don't be silly. This is America, of course there is! Yep, you read that correctly. Sometimes things can be a bit expensive. Axe Dark Temptation (US Lynx deodorant) costs $8 for a can. That's nearly £5! Maybe they think side effects include being turned into real chocolate, just like the advert. Use sparingly!
The Sky - There was a skywriter!
The People - "Have a nice day!" "No, you have a nice day." The people are very kind. You just ask a waitress to refill your glass, she'll go away and do it with no fuss what-so-ever. We had a conversation with our waiter one night at Ponderossa Steak House about steaks after the meal, and he told us the tale of how he tried to conquer a 60oz steak to get onto a wall of fame but to no avail. Apparently skinnier guys get along better with the steak. Looks like I should have took up the challenge! And yet it was an engaging conversation, bizarrely enough. There are a lot of foreigners there though (even though I was the foreigner). Since Florida is basically Americas Blackpool - Americans go there for a holiday too - there is a big Hispanic community. Pair them up with the heat and you do think you are in Spain. The strange thing was, you travel all that distance to meet someone from Britain working in Disney World selling fish and chips. How do you get a job like that?
The Security - They're all very safe too. Getting into America is very unnerving. Iris scan, fingerprint scan and a Passport Control officer who looks like he's not had a very good day with a gun in his holster at the airport. Don't annoy him or you're not going to have a good day either. You also have to fill in a form to get into the country, stating who you are and why you're going. They kinda have to, judging what happened in 2001. But it didn't stop their. Even Disney World wanted your fingerprint to get in. Whatever the weather, they're not going to let you do what anything illegal. They have records!
The Patriotism - The Americans are a very patriotic. There's the stars and stripes flying everywhere. They are proud to be American. And although British patriotism is different, it's nothing like Americans. If we were to embrace something like flying the flag, someone is bound to offended, which is why we don't do it. Unfortunately. I am proud to be British but it's something like that that makes me admire there country. But not as much as my own.
Erm...have I said how big things are? I think I have. Nope not all of them. The travelators. Taking you from Universal Studios to the parking lot and vice versa. They're big too. Things generally are big. Very Big. Britain isn't. There is a lot of stuff one state alone can generate. We only spent a fortnight there and normally when you go on an 2 week holiday, you end up getting bored and wished you only spent 10 days there. This isn't. We ran out of time. You can't run out of time on holiday. That's not the point. Just goes to show, it's not where you go, it's what you make of it. One problem though. Please. For the love of god. Stop playing the same song over and over and over and over again on the radio, Florida. Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus is good if your a teenage girl but torture if your everyone else. Stop it! That's basically a snippet of my impression of the US. See what I was getting on about with that stick metaphor? No, me neither. And all without a single cliche. HEEEEEE-YAWWWW!
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Fame
Gather some people in a room and ask them to put their hands up if they want to be famous and I bet you they will. Everyone wants to be famous but it always has a price to pay and this is what I'm gonna be delving into. People are generally quite nosey, as far as my understanding. Celebrities are like that window that allows people to look in and see how different or similar they are to each other. Famous people are a laugh. Tom Cruise, for instance is short, and that's funny. And yet you know who I'm on about because he's a well known actor, he's appeared in films you have probably seen, and he is friends with David Beckham, which has to be a round of applause for sustainability. How does he cope? Probably the wealth. That's what people really want. The wealth to buy all the fast cars, the big houses and the helicopters. And the way to get that is to either be a lottery winner, which is a game of chance. Honestly, you have more chance of winning Mouse Trap. Unless you're really lucky, that is. So, the next way to become easily wealthy without having to do much is to be famous. And people would like to get famous easily, which logically doesn't add up.
Sir Alan Sugar rolls in his Rolls(-Royce) because he has worked incredibly hard to get his wealth and so has Tom Cruise, no matter how short he is. The same goes with Bill Gates. Apparently, if he kept his dollar notes under his mattress, it would take him 5 years to hit the floor if he falls out of bed. Some people want to get from A (which is normal, everyday person) to C (incredibly rich) without the B part (HARD WORK). They'll do it any way necessary. Cue reality TV. I'm am of course referring to Big Brother, X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Quality TV it isn't. It is only watchable because we like to see people we don't know fail. That's the only reason I seem to watch it. To see Simon Cowell shun a nobody. It makes us feel better about ourselves. I don't particularly like what the end product is either. I say end product because the only winner is Simon Cowell. And also put this in perspective. The boy band JLS from X Factor (2008) have got a number one selling single in the UK charts. It's theirs forever and ever and no one can take that away with them. The thing is, they didn't even win. How did that happen? Alexandra Burke came in in first and that's been that. It's claimed that she is in the process of making an album. Without releasing a single before the album is out to prove that work is being done? Hmmm, we do have a problem. The same goes with another X Factor winner called Leon Jackson (2007), got DROPPED by his label, Sony BGM for not selling enough albums. That's right, they jilted him! He's now touring with runner-ups Same Difference, who if you covered in wax, would rival Babybell in cheesiness. It's all very hollow. Big Brother is probably the worst culprit. The difference between the Big Brother and a zoo is the camera coverage. It's no surprise that after 2010, it will be axed by Channel 4. Because it's boring the life out of everyone. It's past its sell by date. Once upon a time, TV could be held responsible for making all matter of decent shows. Now it wants to vomits out reality TV which, and there's no other way of putting this, cheap. Actors, scriptwriters and other experts cost and it's simple to just get a handful of wannabe fame seekers, put them in house together or get them to sing and take it from there, keeping the people in who you want to keep and sling the rest out on their sorry backsides where they belong. All with a phone call of course, giving Mr Tvchannelman a hefty profit and hardly a blind bit of notice to whoever wins. Winning should be rewarding and glorious but in this case, it's as fake as a Japanese watch sold at a market.
The only way to truly succeed is to work really hard. The one's who do receive fame should be in my opinion, actors, musicians (as opposed to the tosh X Factor gives you. I mean proper instrumentalists and proper singers and vocalists, not karaoke singers), comedians (because we all need to laugh) and some sport personalities to name but a few. F1 drivers give a bit of a spark when something potentially goes wrong. Rugby features tough guys against more tough guy. Generally being a battle. Golf...ah, that's where it ends. Unless one of them gets struck by lightning conducted by their club. Footballers aren't sportsmen. I don't see how kicking a bit of rubber up and down a field for 90 minutes should result in a player getting paid more than a brain or heart surgeon who can save a precious human life. Football isn't a sport. It's a popularity contest between big egos. Christiano Ronaldo was sold to Real Madrid by Manchester United Carpets and Beds for and incredible amount of money. £80 million! Why? If I had £80 million to spend, I'd buy him. And I wouldn't even use him for football. He would do the jobs I find boring and tedious like pulling up weeds. He'd also make a very good dartboard. That'll be £80 million well spent if that's the case. He's 24 and he owned a Ferrari 599, smashed it up and got let off scott free. If I was to do that, the expense in insurance would be enough to wake the dead. "Oh it's cos he's a footballer!" Footballer shouldn't be a title. It should be a punishment. I'm even going to send in my idea to the Football Association to put a time bomb inside the football and only I'll know when it will detonate. Which'll show them whose boss. They don't deserve any of the credit. Writing about the Bomball (as I will now call it), I realise the same thing could be done with Big Brother. To spice things up, put a revolver in there and see who resorts to it. Alternatively, they could all play reverse Russian Roulette. As in, take one bullet out and leave the rest in. Do this with 12 guns and give them all one and see who clicks first. Note: May need to do a lot of window/mirror cleaning after this takes place. I also don't like the fact that some of them take their status for granted and flaunt it. But I do like to make fun. Here we go... Katie Price - also known as glamour model Jordan (I'm using the term "glamour" loosely. In fact I don't even want to use the word "glamour.") - recently mentioned in a newspaper, and I quote "...It's not like I can't pull anything..." Fine then. She can start with pulling a cart and then move on up to stagecoaches if she's finding that too easy! It's the media gone mad the majority of the time. The otherway around is also true. What also makes me laugh is the fact that some of them don't like being under that media spotlight. They don't like it when they're photographed stumbling out of a cab after a few drinks. Some of them despise being photographed full stop. Which doesn't make sense. They want the fame, the money, the big houses and whatever but they go into a hissy fit when they're seen at their worst.
And when they get it right, they do indeed get it right. Steven Hawking is famous for having an astonishing mind. Sir Paul McCartney is famous for being in one of the biggest pop bands on earth, The Beatles. Johnny Depp is extremely untypecast as an actor, meaning he can play almost anyone from Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, to the dark and sinister demon barber, Sweeney Todd. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is up there for being the Terminator and the Governor of California. You can go one better with Morgan Freeman. God and The President of the United States. This makes a lot more sense. These are what people really want to be. But the Big Brother route isn't an option. Because it's being axed (I'm getting a buzz just from writing that. I'm going to do it again. Big Brother is being axed). Put the hard work in and you'll be rewarded. Now, get them same people in a room, get them to read this and ask them "who wants to be famous?" For those who think about and plan it out, it may just well work. For those of them who just put their hand up without so much as thinking, send them to line up for Britain's Got Talent. I dunno, we'll get them to juggle fire engines.
Sir Alan Sugar rolls in his Rolls(-Royce) because he has worked incredibly hard to get his wealth and so has Tom Cruise, no matter how short he is. The same goes with Bill Gates. Apparently, if he kept his dollar notes under his mattress, it would take him 5 years to hit the floor if he falls out of bed. Some people want to get from A (which is normal, everyday person) to C (incredibly rich) without the B part (HARD WORK). They'll do it any way necessary. Cue reality TV. I'm am of course referring to Big Brother, X Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Quality TV it isn't. It is only watchable because we like to see people we don't know fail. That's the only reason I seem to watch it. To see Simon Cowell shun a nobody. It makes us feel better about ourselves. I don't particularly like what the end product is either. I say end product because the only winner is Simon Cowell. And also put this in perspective. The boy band JLS from X Factor (2008) have got a number one selling single in the UK charts. It's theirs forever and ever and no one can take that away with them. The thing is, they didn't even win. How did that happen? Alexandra Burke came in in first and that's been that. It's claimed that she is in the process of making an album. Without releasing a single before the album is out to prove that work is being done? Hmmm, we do have a problem. The same goes with another X Factor winner called Leon Jackson (2007), got DROPPED by his label, Sony BGM for not selling enough albums. That's right, they jilted him! He's now touring with runner-ups Same Difference, who if you covered in wax, would rival Babybell in cheesiness. It's all very hollow. Big Brother is probably the worst culprit. The difference between the Big Brother and a zoo is the camera coverage. It's no surprise that after 2010, it will be axed by Channel 4. Because it's boring the life out of everyone. It's past its sell by date. Once upon a time, TV could be held responsible for making all matter of decent shows. Now it wants to vomits out reality TV which, and there's no other way of putting this, cheap. Actors, scriptwriters and other experts cost and it's simple to just get a handful of wannabe fame seekers, put them in house together or get them to sing and take it from there, keeping the people in who you want to keep and sling the rest out on their sorry backsides where they belong. All with a phone call of course, giving Mr Tvchannelman a hefty profit and hardly a blind bit of notice to whoever wins. Winning should be rewarding and glorious but in this case, it's as fake as a Japanese watch sold at a market.
The only way to truly succeed is to work really hard. The one's who do receive fame should be in my opinion, actors, musicians (as opposed to the tosh X Factor gives you. I mean proper instrumentalists and proper singers and vocalists, not karaoke singers), comedians (because we all need to laugh) and some sport personalities to name but a few. F1 drivers give a bit of a spark when something potentially goes wrong. Rugby features tough guys against more tough guy. Generally being a battle. Golf...ah, that's where it ends. Unless one of them gets struck by lightning conducted by their club. Footballers aren't sportsmen. I don't see how kicking a bit of rubber up and down a field for 90 minutes should result in a player getting paid more than a brain or heart surgeon who can save a precious human life. Football isn't a sport. It's a popularity contest between big egos. Christiano Ronaldo was sold to Real Madrid by Manchester United Carpets and Beds for and incredible amount of money. £80 million! Why? If I had £80 million to spend, I'd buy him. And I wouldn't even use him for football. He would do the jobs I find boring and tedious like pulling up weeds. He'd also make a very good dartboard. That'll be £80 million well spent if that's the case. He's 24 and he owned a Ferrari 599, smashed it up and got let off scott free. If I was to do that, the expense in insurance would be enough to wake the dead. "Oh it's cos he's a footballer!" Footballer shouldn't be a title. It should be a punishment. I'm even going to send in my idea to the Football Association to put a time bomb inside the football and only I'll know when it will detonate. Which'll show them whose boss. They don't deserve any of the credit. Writing about the Bomball (as I will now call it), I realise the same thing could be done with Big Brother. To spice things up, put a revolver in there and see who resorts to it. Alternatively, they could all play reverse Russian Roulette. As in, take one bullet out and leave the rest in. Do this with 12 guns and give them all one and see who clicks first. Note: May need to do a lot of window/mirror cleaning after this takes place. I also don't like the fact that some of them take their status for granted and flaunt it. But I do like to make fun. Here we go... Katie Price - also known as glamour model Jordan (I'm using the term "glamour" loosely. In fact I don't even want to use the word "glamour.") - recently mentioned in a newspaper, and I quote "...It's not like I can't pull anything..." Fine then. She can start with pulling a cart and then move on up to stagecoaches if she's finding that too easy! It's the media gone mad the majority of the time. The otherway around is also true. What also makes me laugh is the fact that some of them don't like being under that media spotlight. They don't like it when they're photographed stumbling out of a cab after a few drinks. Some of them despise being photographed full stop. Which doesn't make sense. They want the fame, the money, the big houses and whatever but they go into a hissy fit when they're seen at their worst.
And when they get it right, they do indeed get it right. Steven Hawking is famous for having an astonishing mind. Sir Paul McCartney is famous for being in one of the biggest pop bands on earth, The Beatles. Johnny Depp is extremely untypecast as an actor, meaning he can play almost anyone from Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, to the dark and sinister demon barber, Sweeney Todd. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is up there for being the Terminator and the Governor of California. You can go one better with Morgan Freeman. God and The President of the United States. This makes a lot more sense. These are what people really want to be. But the Big Brother route isn't an option. Because it's being axed (I'm getting a buzz just from writing that. I'm going to do it again. Big Brother is being axed). Put the hard work in and you'll be rewarded. Now, get them same people in a room, get them to read this and ask them "who wants to be famous?" For those who think about and plan it out, it may just well work. For those of them who just put their hand up without so much as thinking, send them to line up for Britain's Got Talent. I dunno, we'll get them to juggle fire engines.
Gadgets
The wonders that have grabbed hold of the world that you can get today is truly outstanding. Not a day goes by when I don't wonder how better my life would be without a Margaret Thatcher Nut Cracker or the aptly named Nothing. But, without their doubts, gadgets bring the world of science and understanding to you at a price, and they bring with them hours of entertainment and boasting. As in "I got a Lightsaber Brolly, be jealous and bow down in awe...". Many gadgets are tech brilliance, especially for those who never really grow up. I mean, who wouldn't want a radio controlled Apache helicopter? Or better still a USB missile launcher to fire missiles from their office desktop? There is an endless list to all the items that I (and then, no doubts you) could possibly dream of. It's also a lot of stuff that I'm not going list here otherwise it'll look like I'm plugging iwantoneofthose.com (which is a wonderful website, go look). Gadgets range from the 'make life easier' to the 'outrageously silly' and all that in between. I praise the items that give such joy. There was once a shop in a local shopping centre where I live, called The Globe - which has been replaced with a fake jewelry shop, which is somehow going to make my life better (?) - that sold all sorts of useless stuff. From plasma globes, fibre optic lights and police beacons to radio controlled Daleks, bubble machines and yapping toy dogs that performs backflips (just like real life then). It was always worth a visit, when it was there. I realised, in a nutshell, they're just there to give your life that lil' bit of zing. And they are, of course, highly uncivilised. Which is a nice cue to move me onto civilised gadgets. The big boys of the tech industry. I'm talking about the stuff only science fiction could only have dreamed of 30 or 40 years ago.
Phones, computers, laptops all spring to mind. And then there's the everyday items such as TV's, radio's, games consoles and related paraphernalia like sound systems. Again, the list is endless. Let's start with a main consumer. Apple. Apple have gained a lot of respect in the gadget world, and with me, with their high powered computers, iMac's; their smaller lap-based offspring, MacBooks (with the impossibly thin, MacBook Air); sleek iPods; the even more sleeker iPod Touch, to name some of their most famous innovations. And out of them, there is one that can't seem to understand and that's the iPhone. Not hate, I don't NOT like it, I think it's rather clever and highly advanced for a phone with the amount of applications and wizardry like the accelerometers to turn the screen when you hold the device in whatever way, but it's the claims that's given out. In a recent UK advert, it shows the iPhone (3GS) amazingly shooting video. It then shows that it can miraculously edit and trim said video and send it to someone. Now, I have a Sony Ericsson K800i, which isn't a Smartphone, but can do what the iPhone does so easily. And the K800i is a big block 'candy bar' phone that's almost 3 years old and it isn't even a rival competitor, nor does it have the processing power of the International Space Station which the iPhone does, which I suppose is where the Apple brings it back. But, whoa, all is not in the clear yet! The iPhone, as with other Apple products, encounter another hurdle and that's the expense. On contract, under O2 for two years, the iPhone will set you back nothing for the handset, but £74 a month! Do the maths, that's in excess £1,776 a year (Based on the best you can get). If you saved that up, you could buy the International Space Station. There is a cheaper option, of course, which is to buy the handset. £538.30 (32GB). One of the iPhone's main rival's, the Nokia's N97, is cheaper and more likely a better deal. £40 a month for 32GB, a better camera and a QWERTY keyboard (from Vodafone). Or you could go cheaper still and get a K800i and spend the money you save on better things like the Poptastic bubble wrap-Sim keyring. I'd rather have a big manly phone with a lot of buttons (men like buttons). Not for a moment am I knocking Apple, they make wonderfully crafted pieces of tech but the prices can be sky high and you can only afford them if you can be patient enough to save up. Which I am not.
Now Apples main computer competitors are the ever trouble Microsoft. And Microsoft and their operating system Windows, are without a doubt, utterly useless. They're slow, they get infected and they're not made for fun. It's the computer equivalent of becoming old. But it'll have to do until I can afford a MacBook. There's a lot not to like about them. I don't like the way it doesn't respond and I don't like the way it wants to send error reports to nowhere. But I do like that I can play Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 with ease. These computers are work horses, not objects of desires. So what did Microsoft do? They made a games console...
As I type, Earth currently has the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3 and the Nintendo Wii. These are the 3rd modern generation consoles to date all of which derived from the Nintendo N64, Playstation, Playstation 2, Xbox and Gamecube, and upto the modern day Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii, respectively. Games consoles have been an escape from reality and into a new realm of digital vastness. And they have advanced as years have gone on. "Back in the day" of Pac-man and Space Invaders, it gave you the experience of running amok eating ghosts or dealing with aliens and this sort of thing took the world by storm. Now-a-days, you can do almost anything! You can shoot Nazi's in World War Two in Call of Duty; You can race Ferrari's through London in Gran Turismo 5 and you can even beat Tim Henman at tennis (albeit, not that difficult) in Virtua Tennis 2009. The sheer amount of what you can do is unlimited within the gaming world. It's hard to imagine where game makers get their ideas from, unless you work for Grand Theft Auto in which case, if it's not broken, don't fix it because it's basically the same, game in game out and they've pretty much cracked that because it's one of my and proven, the worlds most popular gaming titles. It's brilliant. Gaming has opened up what is a new release on life. The media then has to get in the way by claiming that games like Burnout glamorise car crashes, but I fail to see the glory of going out and becoming a part of twisted metal. It's not justified. These consoles and games have sold in record numbers over the past years and they can still deliver. Whats more, these are essentially toys with enough processing power of more than the International Space Station. Take that Apple! The PS3 comes with a 30GB hard drive. My Acer TravelMate doesn't have that much. Well at least it doesn't now, now that it's all full of music and whatnot. Both the 360 and PS3 together are just as powerful as each other, boasting high quality graphics, much more power and overall just better than what we had before. You would expect that this would leave Nintendo, which had a bit of a downfall after the GameCube wasn't as successful as it's competitors, to be left in the dark. Yet, this story is the other way around. Out of the three, the Wii is more successful than both the Sony and Microsoft machines. Which just goes to show. You don't need High-Def picture quality or realistic graphics. What you need is playability and that's what the Wii gives because it let's you, your mum, your grandparents and anyone else who would never really think twice about playing on a console, to play on this outstanding piece of kit. It also because it's more user friendly. No doubt the majority of Xbox' and PS3's are in a bedroom being played by only one person physically there (notice I said physically there. Just because you're playing online against some American doesn't mean you're not playing by yourself. You're isolated in digitals, or whatever the term is). So, not only does the Wii beat it's rivals, it absolutely trounces them! And it doesn't end there. There is a current battle with the handheld market with the DS and the PSP. The Sony PSP is so much more powerful, but the innovation with the DS dual screens and voice, touch and with the DSi built in camera compatibility, these two couldn't be any different. It's a good battle as Sony are up against handheld lords Nintendo, famous for the Gameboys. It could start to get interesting...
Mobile phone? Check. Console? Check. What next? What you need next is a telly. And a whole new barrel of fish fingers. HD being the fishiest. High-Definition TV is now very popular but I don't see the reason why. Sure it give crystal clear pictures but when you're sitting on your sofa, does it really matter? HD TV is a good thing yes, but no one watches TV up against the screen. HD is really meant for watching blockbuster movies on, I think, to give you a cinema experience in your own home. Not really to show Bruce Forsyth's face in all it's clarity. And to go with your TV, you're going to need surround sound to capture the home cinema experience even more. All you need is the popcorn dispenser and people walking in front of you to go to the toilet and you're practically there. Now in the 21st Century, there's DVD and Blu-ray, to make it that little bit better for you. Radio has even been given a cool, futuristic makeover. The way forward is to destroy all transmitters and get everyone to go digital, as the same with TV channels. Go go gadget, ultimo-recorder (with Sky + and Virgin Media) which does what the VHS video recorder - or the BetaMax to all you retro lovers - could do but better as it records, pauses and rewinds live TV all without the dreaded tape which has since died out. It looks like DVD really has killed the video star as the song states, if it were to be updated...
So you've got your flash phone - to call; text; play music; play games; take pictures; film; surf the web; send you're pictures, music, films wirelessly via blutooth; you've got your games console - to submerge your everyday fantasy of smashing up cars and blowing up buildings; and you've got your massive 500 billion (beating around the point) inch TV to watch Eastenders on in the best quality and make it sound like a Michael Bay epic. Yes it does cost but at this day and age, if you don't pay that lump sum and say 'wait until it comes down in price,' then there's going to be something else that's a lot better when you do eventually buy it. And you'll be kicking yourself for it. The flip side to that is buy the cheaper stuff. Example: Instead of buying a top of the range phone, get a phone that performs just as well as a phone and use the money you've saved to buy a camcorder to film on, a camera to take pictures and a laptop to put it all together. But where does that leave you? Well, you go onto iwantoneofthose.com and you buy what you like the look of, be it a chain wine bottle holder to impress your party guests, or a Nerf Havok Fire Automatic Blaster (or as I call it, Insane but Impressive, and that's just the name of the thing) to shoot whatever moves. That's what all these things are. Toys. Like I said earlier, you never really grow up, you just want to show off what you can afford and that'll give you a broad smile on your face in knowing you can afford such a thing and that you own it!
Phones, computers, laptops all spring to mind. And then there's the everyday items such as TV's, radio's, games consoles and related paraphernalia like sound systems. Again, the list is endless. Let's start with a main consumer. Apple. Apple have gained a lot of respect in the gadget world, and with me, with their high powered computers, iMac's; their smaller lap-based offspring, MacBooks (with the impossibly thin, MacBook Air); sleek iPods; the even more sleeker iPod Touch, to name some of their most famous innovations. And out of them, there is one that can't seem to understand and that's the iPhone. Not hate, I don't NOT like it, I think it's rather clever and highly advanced for a phone with the amount of applications and wizardry like the accelerometers to turn the screen when you hold the device in whatever way, but it's the claims that's given out. In a recent UK advert, it shows the iPhone (3GS) amazingly shooting video. It then shows that it can miraculously edit and trim said video and send it to someone. Now, I have a Sony Ericsson K800i, which isn't a Smartphone, but can do what the iPhone does so easily. And the K800i is a big block 'candy bar' phone that's almost 3 years old and it isn't even a rival competitor, nor does it have the processing power of the International Space Station which the iPhone does, which I suppose is where the Apple brings it back. But, whoa, all is not in the clear yet! The iPhone, as with other Apple products, encounter another hurdle and that's the expense. On contract, under O2 for two years, the iPhone will set you back nothing for the handset, but £74 a month! Do the maths, that's in excess £1,776 a year (Based on the best you can get). If you saved that up, you could buy the International Space Station. There is a cheaper option, of course, which is to buy the handset. £538.30 (32GB). One of the iPhone's main rival's, the Nokia's N97, is cheaper and more likely a better deal. £40 a month for 32GB, a better camera and a QWERTY keyboard (from Vodafone). Or you could go cheaper still and get a K800i and spend the money you save on better things like the Poptastic bubble wrap-Sim keyring. I'd rather have a big manly phone with a lot of buttons (men like buttons). Not for a moment am I knocking Apple, they make wonderfully crafted pieces of tech but the prices can be sky high and you can only afford them if you can be patient enough to save up. Which I am not.
Now Apples main computer competitors are the ever trouble Microsoft. And Microsoft and their operating system Windows, are without a doubt, utterly useless. They're slow, they get infected and they're not made for fun. It's the computer equivalent of becoming old. But it'll have to do until I can afford a MacBook. There's a lot not to like about them. I don't like the way it doesn't respond and I don't like the way it wants to send error reports to nowhere. But I do like that I can play Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 with ease. These computers are work horses, not objects of desires. So what did Microsoft do? They made a games console...
As I type, Earth currently has the Xbox 360, the Playstation 3 and the Nintendo Wii. These are the 3rd modern generation consoles to date all of which derived from the Nintendo N64, Playstation, Playstation 2, Xbox and Gamecube, and upto the modern day Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Nintendo Wii, respectively. Games consoles have been an escape from reality and into a new realm of digital vastness. And they have advanced as years have gone on. "Back in the day" of Pac-man and Space Invaders, it gave you the experience of running amok eating ghosts or dealing with aliens and this sort of thing took the world by storm. Now-a-days, you can do almost anything! You can shoot Nazi's in World War Two in Call of Duty; You can race Ferrari's through London in Gran Turismo 5 and you can even beat Tim Henman at tennis (albeit, not that difficult) in Virtua Tennis 2009. The sheer amount of what you can do is unlimited within the gaming world. It's hard to imagine where game makers get their ideas from, unless you work for Grand Theft Auto in which case, if it's not broken, don't fix it because it's basically the same, game in game out and they've pretty much cracked that because it's one of my and proven, the worlds most popular gaming titles. It's brilliant. Gaming has opened up what is a new release on life. The media then has to get in the way by claiming that games like Burnout glamorise car crashes, but I fail to see the glory of going out and becoming a part of twisted metal. It's not justified. These consoles and games have sold in record numbers over the past years and they can still deliver. Whats more, these are essentially toys with enough processing power of more than the International Space Station. Take that Apple! The PS3 comes with a 30GB hard drive. My Acer TravelMate doesn't have that much. Well at least it doesn't now, now that it's all full of music and whatnot. Both the 360 and PS3 together are just as powerful as each other, boasting high quality graphics, much more power and overall just better than what we had before. You would expect that this would leave Nintendo, which had a bit of a downfall after the GameCube wasn't as successful as it's competitors, to be left in the dark. Yet, this story is the other way around. Out of the three, the Wii is more successful than both the Sony and Microsoft machines. Which just goes to show. You don't need High-Def picture quality or realistic graphics. What you need is playability and that's what the Wii gives because it let's you, your mum, your grandparents and anyone else who would never really think twice about playing on a console, to play on this outstanding piece of kit. It also because it's more user friendly. No doubt the majority of Xbox' and PS3's are in a bedroom being played by only one person physically there (notice I said physically there. Just because you're playing online against some American doesn't mean you're not playing by yourself. You're isolated in digitals, or whatever the term is). So, not only does the Wii beat it's rivals, it absolutely trounces them! And it doesn't end there. There is a current battle with the handheld market with the DS and the PSP. The Sony PSP is so much more powerful, but the innovation with the DS dual screens and voice, touch and with the DSi built in camera compatibility, these two couldn't be any different. It's a good battle as Sony are up against handheld lords Nintendo, famous for the Gameboys. It could start to get interesting...
Mobile phone? Check. Console? Check. What next? What you need next is a telly. And a whole new barrel of fish fingers. HD being the fishiest. High-Definition TV is now very popular but I don't see the reason why. Sure it give crystal clear pictures but when you're sitting on your sofa, does it really matter? HD TV is a good thing yes, but no one watches TV up against the screen. HD is really meant for watching blockbuster movies on, I think, to give you a cinema experience in your own home. Not really to show Bruce Forsyth's face in all it's clarity. And to go with your TV, you're going to need surround sound to capture the home cinema experience even more. All you need is the popcorn dispenser and people walking in front of you to go to the toilet and you're practically there. Now in the 21st Century, there's DVD and Blu-ray, to make it that little bit better for you. Radio has even been given a cool, futuristic makeover. The way forward is to destroy all transmitters and get everyone to go digital, as the same with TV channels. Go go gadget, ultimo-recorder (with Sky + and Virgin Media) which does what the VHS video recorder - or the BetaMax to all you retro lovers - could do but better as it records, pauses and rewinds live TV all without the dreaded tape which has since died out. It looks like DVD really has killed the video star as the song states, if it were to be updated...
So you've got your flash phone - to call; text; play music; play games; take pictures; film; surf the web; send you're pictures, music, films wirelessly via blutooth; you've got your games console - to submerge your everyday fantasy of smashing up cars and blowing up buildings; and you've got your massive 500 billion (beating around the point) inch TV to watch Eastenders on in the best quality and make it sound like a Michael Bay epic. Yes it does cost but at this day and age, if you don't pay that lump sum and say 'wait until it comes down in price,' then there's going to be something else that's a lot better when you do eventually buy it. And you'll be kicking yourself for it. The flip side to that is buy the cheaper stuff. Example: Instead of buying a top of the range phone, get a phone that performs just as well as a phone and use the money you've saved to buy a camcorder to film on, a camera to take pictures and a laptop to put it all together. But where does that leave you? Well, you go onto iwantoneofthose.com and you buy what you like the look of, be it a chain wine bottle holder to impress your party guests, or a Nerf Havok Fire Automatic Blaster (or as I call it, Insane but Impressive, and that's just the name of the thing) to shoot whatever moves. That's what all these things are. Toys. Like I said earlier, you never really grow up, you just want to show off what you can afford and that'll give you a broad smile on your face in knowing you can afford such a thing and that you own it!
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Travelling
Everyone loves to get out once in a while, me in particular. There's nothing more I like than getting out there, forgetting about life's worries and embrace with what's out there. It's so captivating when you realise what lies beyond home. Especially when you're native to a city in the Midlands called Lincoln. Don't get me wrong, Lincoln is a great place, it's just that there are a lot of places that are better than Lincoln. Maybe others could sympathise that getting out of their home town/city is like a breathe of fresh air or maybe I'm on my own on this? It's good to get out, even to down the road to Newark. That would give a glimmer so satisfaction because Newark isn't Lincoln. Simple logic really. Sometimes you want to go somewhere else for longer. You need a holiday!
Holiday's are great aren't they? I'm not talking about a week down to Eastbourne, I'm more in the 'overseas' direction at the moment because they are what really get the juices flowing. Everything about going away on holiday is something to be excited about! The endless days, the blistering heat, even watching peoples luggage go around on the carousels at the airport, wondering who's the rancid pink suitcase could be and then realising you haven't had much sleep, you're jet lagged, slightly stressed and you're watching peoples bags doing laps. With everyone else. And when that's all done, you soldier on to go to were ever you're going to live for the next week or so in a coach for an hour. With the same people. One of my favourite places to go on holiday was Greece, way back in the year of 2005. Halkidiki is one of the peninsulas off mainland Greece and there was a lot to take in. Picturesque mountains, crystal blue seas, the works. It also had a Lidl which looked exactly like the one's over in Britain! And I thought the yellow and blue signage scheme stopped on the UK border. I was wrong. You travel 2,000 miles around the globe to find shops you're familiar with. That's spectacular! The cuisine wasn't too bad outside of Lidl either. I remember getting a pizza with a choice of any toppings for a couple of Euros and due to the drinking age limit (there isn't one), a complimentary shot of Ouzo. Which went down nicely. Even holiday weather is something to enjoy. Normally, at home, watching rain is a pretty dire hobby and I don't recommend you participate in such activity. But on holiday, it's better. In 2002 on the Isle of White, the heavens opened and rain was unleashed on a biblical scale. We're talking car drowning rain and I'm not making that up. A bloke misunderestimated the depth of a pool of water in a dip in the road and flooded his engine. And back to Greece, there was a storm on one of the first nights we [family] were there. It was a sort of tropical-type storm. Howling wind and crashing waves that looked like they were about to eat the small beach side shops selling beach ware. We thought we had to stock up on supplies because these shops may not last the night. Morning came, it was like as if nothing happened. The same can't be said about a holiday to Great Yarmouth. Six days miserable weather, one day shine. The less said about that the better, so expect me to bring it up later.
Okay, so when you're not on holiday, what do you do? Have a day out. There is a limit to what a good day out must include though and sometimes, especially when visiting beaches, they have to have a good cut to make it enjoyable. British seasides cannot be compared to the Mediterranean beach fronts. In Spain, for example, they seem to have the right idea and we take a back burner. Spain is awash with bars, restaurants, clubs and we have chip shops, arcades, places that sell Elvis memorabilia and another chip shop. Because that's what I think about when I go to the beach. Elvis and chips. However, sometimes, we get it right. Put a small theme park on the seaside and you've got a good'un. The same goes with the bandits that let you win. Not only are you a winner but the seaside is also a winner because you're a winner. You could also give it one of them heavy purple summer sunsets and...our survey says...top marks. I think this is down to the fact that you can have a good time no matter where you are in the world. You leave home at home and start to take on board what's around you where you are. There are some days out that can be brilliant. Scarborough for example. I had a good time there because there was a chance for a ride in a speedboat around the harbour, which was rather fun. I don't know how it would fair as a holiday destination. Maybe short weekend. Cleethorpes on the other hand wouldn't make a good holiday destination. It isn't even a seaside. It's more of an 'opening to the river Humber' and rivers can contain all matter of nastiness. What am I on about 'more of an opening?' It is the opening to the Humber. Great Yarmouth on the other hand is a holiday destination. I told you I'll bring it back up. Yes, I did say that the miserable weather made it memorable for the wrong reasons, but everything else was thumbs up. It had the theme park. It had the one sunny day which was spent on Goreston beach. And it also had a sense of mystery with the derelict Jim Davidson theatre on the pier and the windmill generators in the sea that looked rather eerie as the sun set which is another of them factors covered. So it's not all that bad, outlooks can end up being good even if they look bad. We all like a holiday or a day out. Be it to Spain, Greece, Bournemouth, Great Yarmouth, York, London, anywhere, it can be a wise move. You're going to enjoy it because you're not at home!
Holiday's are great aren't they? I'm not talking about a week down to Eastbourne, I'm more in the 'overseas' direction at the moment because they are what really get the juices flowing. Everything about going away on holiday is something to be excited about! The endless days, the blistering heat, even watching peoples luggage go around on the carousels at the airport, wondering who's the rancid pink suitcase could be and then realising you haven't had much sleep, you're jet lagged, slightly stressed and you're watching peoples bags doing laps. With everyone else. And when that's all done, you soldier on to go to were ever you're going to live for the next week or so in a coach for an hour. With the same people. One of my favourite places to go on holiday was Greece, way back in the year of 2005. Halkidiki is one of the peninsulas off mainland Greece and there was a lot to take in. Picturesque mountains, crystal blue seas, the works. It also had a Lidl which looked exactly like the one's over in Britain! And I thought the yellow and blue signage scheme stopped on the UK border. I was wrong. You travel 2,000 miles around the globe to find shops you're familiar with. That's spectacular! The cuisine wasn't too bad outside of Lidl either. I remember getting a pizza with a choice of any toppings for a couple of Euros and due to the drinking age limit (there isn't one), a complimentary shot of Ouzo. Which went down nicely. Even holiday weather is something to enjoy. Normally, at home, watching rain is a pretty dire hobby and I don't recommend you participate in such activity. But on holiday, it's better. In 2002 on the Isle of White, the heavens opened and rain was unleashed on a biblical scale. We're talking car drowning rain and I'm not making that up. A bloke misunderestimated the depth of a pool of water in a dip in the road and flooded his engine. And back to Greece, there was a storm on one of the first nights we [family] were there. It was a sort of tropical-type storm. Howling wind and crashing waves that looked like they were about to eat the small beach side shops selling beach ware. We thought we had to stock up on supplies because these shops may not last the night. Morning came, it was like as if nothing happened. The same can't be said about a holiday to Great Yarmouth. Six days miserable weather, one day shine. The less said about that the better, so expect me to bring it up later.
Okay, so when you're not on holiday, what do you do? Have a day out. There is a limit to what a good day out must include though and sometimes, especially when visiting beaches, they have to have a good cut to make it enjoyable. British seasides cannot be compared to the Mediterranean beach fronts. In Spain, for example, they seem to have the right idea and we take a back burner. Spain is awash with bars, restaurants, clubs and we have chip shops, arcades, places that sell Elvis memorabilia and another chip shop. Because that's what I think about when I go to the beach. Elvis and chips. However, sometimes, we get it right. Put a small theme park on the seaside and you've got a good'un. The same goes with the bandits that let you win. Not only are you a winner but the seaside is also a winner because you're a winner. You could also give it one of them heavy purple summer sunsets and...our survey says...top marks. I think this is down to the fact that you can have a good time no matter where you are in the world. You leave home at home and start to take on board what's around you where you are. There are some days out that can be brilliant. Scarborough for example. I had a good time there because there was a chance for a ride in a speedboat around the harbour, which was rather fun. I don't know how it would fair as a holiday destination. Maybe short weekend. Cleethorpes on the other hand wouldn't make a good holiday destination. It isn't even a seaside. It's more of an 'opening to the river Humber' and rivers can contain all matter of nastiness. What am I on about 'more of an opening?' It is the opening to the Humber. Great Yarmouth on the other hand is a holiday destination. I told you I'll bring it back up. Yes, I did say that the miserable weather made it memorable for the wrong reasons, but everything else was thumbs up. It had the theme park. It had the one sunny day which was spent on Goreston beach. And it also had a sense of mystery with the derelict Jim Davidson theatre on the pier and the windmill generators in the sea that looked rather eerie as the sun set which is another of them factors covered. So it's not all that bad, outlooks can end up being good even if they look bad. We all like a holiday or a day out. Be it to Spain, Greece, Bournemouth, Great Yarmouth, York, London, anywhere, it can be a wise move. You're going to enjoy it because you're not at home!
An Overview
So, what's to be of this then? This blog will be a set of in depth observations on things we take for granted; things we love and hate and generally, well, things. Things from day to day that may be floating around but not in the literal sense. I may get around to blogging about boats and balloon, who knows? I did originally call it Focus On: but after getting bored of writing Focus On: in every title, knowing that all blogs won't need it, I aptly got rid of them. You will notice that all that appears in my blog are my observations that are covered under a massive blanket known as "Jimmi's Scrutiny." It is entirely my opinion and as we all know, opinion should always be backed up with fact, which is what I'll do. I'll even look at both sides of whatever argument to keep 'the other side' happy. I have to stress that I have to mention it's my opinion otherwise they'll "'Av a go." Don't ave a go though. It's not even meant to be taken seriously. It can be, if you really want it to but there is a voice somewhere in there that's tells you the truth but that's behind the shouting of Mr. Daft and Mr. Silliness, but that voice of reasoning is still there. (I must warn you, I am very clever with words and if you do have a go, I will probably tear you to shreds. Don't tempt me...Yes? Yes. Good. Then we're all happy) As for what I write, you may agree with what I put or you may disagree. You may laugh at or you may not but if that's the case then go to your doctor to get your sense of humour checked out as it is clearly going to put me off and we don't want that.
Righty-o, sit back, feet up, get a cup of generic beverage and let your eyes stray across the words in front of you from left to right and process it into your brain and...you get the picture.
ENJOY! Before it's too late...!
Righty-o, sit back, feet up, get a cup of generic beverage and let your eyes stray across the words in front of you from left to right and process it into your brain and...you get the picture.
ENJOY! Before it's too late...!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
