Lo and behold, another post thanks to the generosity of Facebook like website, Megalikes.net. Last time I questioned human intelligence with the sob story of the guy who wasn't blind, who gave his eyes to a girl who was blind just to marry her. She said no and now he's blind forever! However, I found this one that questions this fact even more! I always thought Facebook was the MySpace for the generation of people who outgrew MySpace with it's bulletin notifications and other things I forget. It was the chance to avoid it. But that trend just packed their bags and moved to Zuckerbergs network like the internet gypsies they are. This made me laugh though:
HOW TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE
Follow them around the house everywhere
Moo when they say your name
Run into walls
Say that wearing clothes is against your religion
Jump off the roof, trying to fly
Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people
At everything they say yell, Liar
Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine
Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"
Try to swim in the floor
Might I add that it made me laugh for the wrong reasons.
Firstly, doing them things will not only make your parent's think you are insane, it'll also make the insane think you're just trying too hard. As far as instructions go, these are pretty bold in their claims. It will indeed lead them to believe you are going mad but which of these shows insanity? Let's have a look at some of them.
Follow them around the house everywhere - Sure, you may do that if you are a toddler who doesn't want their mum or dad to be out of sight because to them it's comforting, knowing they have a protector in distance incase something they think something like a goblin is about to jump out of the cupboard or a shark is going to eat you. Toddlers are very deceptible like that and so it's natural. It doesn't mean to say they're insane though. If you do it, for example, whilst out and about, it may just look like you need your parents 24/7. In which case other people will think you're not going mad, but don't want be left alone. It'll make your friends think you're insane, not your parents.
Moo when they say your name - Very hard not to think you're going mad especially when you are actually a calf. It's just their way of saying "yes" I suppose. It isn't mad cow disease. Again, you'll get odd looks from people but don't expect them to sit next to you on the bus.
Run into walls - Back to the blind story again ergo not mad. Running into walls may be funny if it was on YouTube but it really hurts and not something you'd like to bring up whilst in hospital. "So how did you break you nose, exactly?"
"I ran into the wall."
"And why did you do that?"
"To prove to my parent's that I'm insane..."
"And are you insane?"
"No, I'm just trying to make my parent's think I am"
At this point, you will be thrown out of the hospital and maybe arrested for foolishness.
Say that wearing clothes is against your religion - This is not a case of insanity. It is in face a case of belief. If your religion says this and this is what you believe, it does not automatically give you the IQ of a lettuce. On the flip side, naturists are constantly walking around in the buff. It doesn't mean to say that they are part of some sort of mad cult from the future.
Where a sticker that says "I'm a retard" - Unless you want to get more odd looks from your fellow members of the people race, I suggest doing something with a bit more pizazz. This is just lazy. It's to the point but it's just a sticker at the end of the day. Not even the medically insane where a sticker with that on. So why should you?
Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, "good morning sunshine" - Like running into walls, this won't do your face any favours either. People react differently to shocks. Some back away others don't. Your parents know you better than anyone else but their brain might not and so they may just see this grinning weirdo hanging over them and try and punch them away. At which point they're going to ask why you're doing it and you're going to reply "to make you think I'm insane." Another resulting blow to the head is then inevitable.
Alternatively, you could change a few things to that list to make it more applicable. For example, don't moo when your name is called, just rock back and forth uncontrollably. Again, don't run into walls, run into a lake. Don't try to swim in the floor, merely swim ON the floor. You don't need to try to fly because you know you will. And don't just call people liars. It's probably not true. Just say "I've taken the context of what you have said into consideration and have come up with an indefinite and reliable answer and I suggest you think about it...did you get how Lost ended?" Besides, you're bound to get someone who'd like to abuse the fact they keep calling you a liar ("He doesn't like being beaten up." "LIAR!") And don't say you see dead people because although no one will believe, they'd just think you're quoting The Sixth Sense.
Facebook audience who liked it, I'm aiming this squarely at you!
Showing posts with label Internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Internet. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 April 2011
Thursday, 31 March 2011
A "what do you do in this instance?" moment brought to you by Megalikes.net
You know the deal with Facebook and liking things, right? I'm hoping you do, for the sake of this piece. In theory, one shouldn't be picking things he finds off the internet to bits and analyse them for the sake of a pokey blog post. But this is the Observation Blog, so tough.
I have read some crazy bum shizzly in my 19 year existence but this takes the realms of human intelligence to whole new level. It's absurd, especially when almost 25,000 people like it. But which part do they like? The sob story or the jilt story? I didn't know whether to cry with sadness or laughter. Take a read of this and see where my point is:
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying..... "Just take care of my eyes dear." i'll always love you forever..
That was lifted straight from Megalikes.net. It is what appears to be a story that tugs at the heartstrings. A blind girl gets the chance to see the world thanks to her significant other with the added benefit that both of them will get married. Trouble is, the guy gave her his eyes so she could see and then she changed her mind. All in days work for the internet. You don't even have to be scientist to prove that this is ridiculous. Okay, maybe you do. I mean, there has got to be something to do with the donor being compatible with the donee. You can't just go putting parts of your anatomy willy-nilly into other people (oi!). For one, the body may reject it and so on. And on an even more serious note, you can't donate eyes! They're implanted into the brain and set into the skull. He's going to have to have the front of his face pulled off, just to get his eyes out. Seems like a lot of palaver just to get someone to marry them. Talk about desperate. The cornea on the other hand...but it doesn't say that!
Here's another thing; if the girl said she would marry him and then said no, she's getting something for nothing. Like it was just a ply just to gain some eyesight. It leaves the guy of the story blind. She now sees that this guy is also blind. It's all happened very quickly. I can only assume that this guy has already got his dark glasses and guide dog without failing to notice that his eyes have been physically pulled out of his brain like the weeds in your front lawn. More to the point, are we thinking that the girl has been blind her entire life? Because if that was the case, how would she know what the note said. She wouldn't be able to ask anyone what it says because she didn't like anyone.
And why did she refuse to marry him? A bit shallow isn't it? Just because one part of that person doesn't work properly, doesn't mean to say the rest of it is broken. His hearing and touch will adapt to be brilliant. All the while, she has to adjust to working something that she's never had to before. If you've seen the film At First Sight you'd know what dangers this girl would have to put up with. The character Val Kilmer plays in it falls for a woman who he massages. She pays for him to have eye surgery so he can see her. It doesn't go well and he finds it hard to adjust and I think he gets violent. I went to bed at this point and don't know how it ended. I'm not guessing well. It wasn't exactly Top Secret to start with anyway. And that's what's going to happen to her! She's going to get violent and then turn off.
Can I say "more to the point?" again? Well, yes. Can you cry if you're eyes have been taken out of your head? And how can you write a letter without sight? Have you ever written something with your eyes closed? It's really difficult, you don't know if you're writing on a straight line or keeping equal spacing with your letters. It may just end up a jumbled mess. Like Wayne Rooney has tried to write his own name. Faces on the other hand are much funnier with closed eyes.
even with )bad) touch tyoe skills like my own, you still get soem mistkeas.
Sorry. Even with touch type skills, like my own, you still get mistakes. So yes, heart-tugging story with a terrible out come. It seems the moral of it really is "it's better to rip someone's face off and have their eyes and hate everyone" The End
I have read some crazy bum shizzly in my 19 year existence but this takes the realms of human intelligence to whole new level. It's absurd, especially when almost 25,000 people like it. But which part do they like? The sob story or the jilt story? I didn't know whether to cry with sadness or laughter. Take a read of this and see where my point is:
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, will you marry me?" The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying..... "Just take care of my eyes dear." i'll always love you forever..
That was lifted straight from Megalikes.net. It is what appears to be a story that tugs at the heartstrings. A blind girl gets the chance to see the world thanks to her significant other with the added benefit that both of them will get married. Trouble is, the guy gave her his eyes so she could see and then she changed her mind. All in days work for the internet. You don't even have to be scientist to prove that this is ridiculous. Okay, maybe you do. I mean, there has got to be something to do with the donor being compatible with the donee. You can't just go putting parts of your anatomy willy-nilly into other people (oi!). For one, the body may reject it and so on. And on an even more serious note, you can't donate eyes! They're implanted into the brain and set into the skull. He's going to have to have the front of his face pulled off, just to get his eyes out. Seems like a lot of palaver just to get someone to marry them. Talk about desperate. The cornea on the other hand...but it doesn't say that!
Here's another thing; if the girl said she would marry him and then said no, she's getting something for nothing. Like it was just a ply just to gain some eyesight. It leaves the guy of the story blind. She now sees that this guy is also blind. It's all happened very quickly. I can only assume that this guy has already got his dark glasses and guide dog without failing to notice that his eyes have been physically pulled out of his brain like the weeds in your front lawn. More to the point, are we thinking that the girl has been blind her entire life? Because if that was the case, how would she know what the note said. She wouldn't be able to ask anyone what it says because she didn't like anyone.
And why did she refuse to marry him? A bit shallow isn't it? Just because one part of that person doesn't work properly, doesn't mean to say the rest of it is broken. His hearing and touch will adapt to be brilliant. All the while, she has to adjust to working something that she's never had to before. If you've seen the film At First Sight you'd know what dangers this girl would have to put up with. The character Val Kilmer plays in it falls for a woman who he massages. She pays for him to have eye surgery so he can see her. It doesn't go well and he finds it hard to adjust and I think he gets violent. I went to bed at this point and don't know how it ended. I'm not guessing well. It wasn't exactly Top Secret to start with anyway. And that's what's going to happen to her! She's going to get violent and then turn off.
Can I say "more to the point?" again? Well, yes. Can you cry if you're eyes have been taken out of your head? And how can you write a letter without sight? Have you ever written something with your eyes closed? It's really difficult, you don't know if you're writing on a straight line or keeping equal spacing with your letters. It may just end up a jumbled mess. Like Wayne Rooney has tried to write his own name. Faces on the other hand are much funnier with closed eyes.
even with )bad) touch tyoe skills like my own, you still get soem mistkeas.
Sorry. Even with touch type skills, like my own, you still get mistakes. So yes, heart-tugging story with a terrible out come. It seems the moral of it really is "it's better to rip someone's face off and have their eyes and hate everyone" The End
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Website Watching: The Bradford Exchange
Alas, a fresh new topic to keep us all going! This is Website Watching. Like Advert Watching, Website Watching is me going through various websites and seeing what is what and why. There are a lot of websites on the internet; you may have been on some today. But there are sometimes hidden gems that get over looked or missed. So I am going to bring them into the light for you. For this post we start off with a shopping website called The Bradford Exchange. And yes, I will keep these posts clean, if you know what I mean...
The Bradford Exchange is an online shop that sells sought after collectibles. I originally wanted to start a post commenting on how bad advertising is inside magazines and newspapers was but I thought I needed to branch out a bit more. Bradford are one these many adverts. Thankfully, the website illustrated this factor even more and so we can happily continue...
It is a simple online shop. That's not such a bad thing these days. Look at Amazon and eBay etc. But where The Bradford Exchange differs from a normal shop is the fact that it sell nothing any sane person would want. Take for example, this:
It's a telephone. It's got that retro vibe about it - in a day and age of mobile and cordless phones, this is a throwback from the past to the present day. Or is it? A retro phone with a ckkkkkkkksshhh-chika-chika-chika-chika-chik rotary dial is cool. This isn't. Now, I love Elvis Presley as much as the next guy; he made great tunes that anyone can listen to to this day. But for Elvis to be immortalised as a phone? How do you explain it to other people? What makes it special? It doesn't have the rotary dial, so that's that crossed out. It's not cordless so that's that crossed out also. Here are some quotes from the websites actual description:
"A remarkable addition to your home or a unique gift for an Elvis fan, the Ultimate Elvis Presley Telephone is sure to attract strong demand"
"Now you can make the King of Rock 'n' Roll part of your daily life with this first-ever fully functional antique-style Ultimate Elvis Presley Telephone"
"REAL WORKING PHONE!"
Point one: A remarkable addition to your home - Really? It's tacky. No one wants tacky in their house. They want kitsch and quirky. Not tacky!
Point two: Attract strong demand - From who? I know Elvis was known for his ego but even he wouldn't have a phone with his face on it. Would he? No, definitely not.
Point three: Make the King part of your daily life. If the case states that Elvis needs to be in your life twennyfourseven, then, yes, fork out nearly £100 for this REAL WORKING PHONE! Not something that sits in the corner looking like a phone and doing nothing but collecting dust. Yes, it is an actual phone and it actually works!
Okay, Elvis maybe just a small bit of Americana, but Bradford go even further...with movie cowboy John Wayne. Here is a shopping list of the all John Wayne products from Bradford:
John Wayne Timeless Hero Wall clock - £99.96
John Wayne: Legends of the West replica rifle sheath Wall Decor - £79.96
John Wayne: An American Legend Knife - £29.99
John Wayne American Icon illuminating Cuckoo Clock - £149.95!
John Wayne American Legend Sculpture - £99.96
Badge of Honour shot glasses - £24.99
Lone Cowboy John Wayne 100th Anniversary Glass mug set - £59.97
John Wayne Centennial Collectors plate - £29.99
John Wayne The Duke Stained-Glass Table Lamp: Unique Home Decor - £179.95!!
The Duke John Wayne: American Hero Collectible Figurine - £59.98
John Wayne: An American Icon Collection - £49.98
John Wayne Bar Set - £149.95
The Duke Replica Pistol Wall Décor - £49.98
An American Legend Illuminated Lantern - £99.96
John Wayne: Galloping Thunder Sculpture - £49.98
John Wayne Stained-Glass Panorama - £99.96
John Wayne: Hero Of The West Limited Edition Illuminated Stained-Glass Panorama - £99.96
John Wayne: American Legend 16-inch Accent Lamp - £79.96
John Wayne : Courageous Lawman 100th Anniversary Glass Mug Set - £59.97
Handcrafted John Wayne Shot Glass Collection - £24.99
John Wayne Straight Shooter Collection - £49.98
(Page two and breath)
Hero For A Century Collector 100th Anniversary Plate Collection - £29.99
John Wayne Authentic Handcrafted Radio - £99.96
John Wayne Perpetual Calendar Collection - £29.99
John Wayne: Lawman - £79.96
‘The Duke’ Tribute Plaque - £99.96
John Wayne Thunder Across the Plains 100th Anniversary plate - £29.99
Hard-fired porcelain John Wayne Knives Collection - £29.99
John Wayne: An American Legend Glass Mug Collection - £59.97
For the hardcore John Wayne fan - and by hardcore, I mean you actually believe you are John Wayne himself - everything with his face on cost altogether £2089.17. I haven't even spent that on instruments. I know little about John Wayne. All that I do know is that he was mostly a cowboy actor and judging by his paraphernalia, he was a keen drinker; he lived in the dark; hated china plates and thought he was an 'American Icon.' Again, why would you want his face on your radio? Who looks at a radio for a start? What next? The John Wayne Laptop? Nobody needs that much rubbish unless you really are going crazy. But crazy enough for...Oh my giddy God! What the hell is that?!
I know the internet is full of weird and disturbing crap but this is a whole new realm of weird. Okay, maybe there is a market with John Wayne and Elvis but compared to something like this...Oh, I'd rather not know the person who spends another £100 buying what looks like the link Darwin missed out of the Evolution Chart. Little Umi is the creation of the demented Wendy Dickison. Honestly, she must have woke up one morning and literally thought "what isn't there enough of in the world? Buses? No, we've got a couple of them...Clouds? No, we've got them too. Weird monkey dolls...Nope, no one is that disturbing to make something as deranged as that. But wait. Just put some people clothes on it and it's normal. Hurray, let the money rolling begin!"
It goes on "...You'll be entranced by Little Umi's gentle eyes, thick dark lashes and her all-over wispy red hair, meticulously rooted by hand for a totally natural look." You actually mean to say that there is a man or woman putting the hairs on this thing for an actual job? How far do you have to stoop to do a job like that? Were they rejected from Mattel for being mad and putting too much hair on Barbie and so had to be moved to do this? It makes perfect sense. And as far as being entranced by the eyes, I think the term is insomnia. You will never want to sleep again because every time you close your eyes, you will see the dark ones of a weird chimp-child staring back at you. Get it away from me now with a random click.
Okay maybe it wasn't a random click but it was less disturbing than the thing on the previous page. It is worth a mention though. With the royal wedding looming this year, this has got be up there with the plates and Tea-towels.
Well that answers that ol' chestnut. The same weirdo's buying Kate Middleton are the same people buying the chimp-child.
Now, moving cheaply on, The Kate thing was priced at just under £20. So what about the not so pricey gifts. The answer is don't buy them either. They are just as bad as each other. There's nine pages of the rubbish. They can't sell it so they bang down the price and see what happens. I can't list them all, I'm sorry. If you want to buy a gift for someone, don't rule this out but put it at the top of the list then put Toys R Us next because the toy shop will have more you want. I guarantee that. Go to Toys R Us and see what I mean. You will find something of 1) value, 2) entertainment, 3) that has character and 4) isn't tacky. You can the get it out of the way and done and never return!
On the plus side I do like how the website subtly and subconsciously tries to make you buy their stuff with a notice at the side that says "you do not have any products in your shopping basket yet," and I can't for the life of me see why...
The Bradford Exchange is an online shop that sells sought after collectibles. I originally wanted to start a post commenting on how bad advertising is inside magazines and newspapers was but I thought I needed to branch out a bit more. Bradford are one these many adverts. Thankfully, the website illustrated this factor even more and so we can happily continue...
It is a simple online shop. That's not such a bad thing these days. Look at Amazon and eBay etc. But where The Bradford Exchange differs from a normal shop is the fact that it sell nothing any sane person would want. Take for example, this:
It's a telephone. It's got that retro vibe about it - in a day and age of mobile and cordless phones, this is a throwback from the past to the present day. Or is it? A retro phone with a ckkkkkkkksshhh-chika-chika-chika-chika-chik rotary dial is cool. This isn't. Now, I love Elvis Presley as much as the next guy; he made great tunes that anyone can listen to to this day. But for Elvis to be immortalised as a phone? How do you explain it to other people? What makes it special? It doesn't have the rotary dial, so that's that crossed out. It's not cordless so that's that crossed out also. Here are some quotes from the websites actual description:
"A remarkable addition to your home or a unique gift for an Elvis fan, the Ultimate Elvis Presley Telephone is sure to attract strong demand"
"Now you can make the King of Rock 'n' Roll part of your daily life with this first-ever fully functional antique-style Ultimate Elvis Presley Telephone"
"REAL WORKING PHONE!"
Point one: A remarkable addition to your home - Really? It's tacky. No one wants tacky in their house. They want kitsch and quirky. Not tacky!
Point two: Attract strong demand - From who? I know Elvis was known for his ego but even he wouldn't have a phone with his face on it. Would he? No, definitely not.
Point three: Make the King part of your daily life. If the case states that Elvis needs to be in your life twennyfourseven, then, yes, fork out nearly £100 for this REAL WORKING PHONE! Not something that sits in the corner looking like a phone and doing nothing but collecting dust. Yes, it is an actual phone and it actually works!
Okay, Elvis maybe just a small bit of Americana, but Bradford go even further...with movie cowboy John Wayne. Here is a shopping list of the all John Wayne products from Bradford:
John Wayne Timeless Hero Wall clock - £99.96
John Wayne: Legends of the West replica rifle sheath Wall Decor - £79.96
John Wayne: An American Legend Knife - £29.99
John Wayne American Icon illuminating Cuckoo Clock - £149.95!
John Wayne American Legend Sculpture - £99.96
Badge of Honour shot glasses - £24.99
Lone Cowboy John Wayne 100th Anniversary Glass mug set - £59.97
John Wayne Centennial Collectors plate - £29.99
John Wayne The Duke Stained-Glass Table Lamp: Unique Home Decor - £179.95!!
The Duke John Wayne: American Hero Collectible Figurine - £59.98
John Wayne: An American Icon Collection - £49.98
John Wayne Bar Set - £149.95
The Duke Replica Pistol Wall Décor - £49.98
An American Legend Illuminated Lantern - £99.96
John Wayne: Galloping Thunder Sculpture - £49.98
John Wayne Stained-Glass Panorama - £99.96
John Wayne: Hero Of The West Limited Edition Illuminated Stained-Glass Panorama - £99.96
John Wayne: American Legend 16-inch Accent Lamp - £79.96
John Wayne : Courageous Lawman 100th Anniversary Glass Mug Set - £59.97
Handcrafted John Wayne Shot Glass Collection - £24.99
John Wayne Straight Shooter Collection - £49.98
(Page two and breath)
Hero For A Century Collector 100th Anniversary Plate Collection - £29.99
John Wayne Authentic Handcrafted Radio - £99.96
John Wayne Perpetual Calendar Collection - £29.99
John Wayne: Lawman - £79.96
‘The Duke’ Tribute Plaque - £99.96
John Wayne Thunder Across the Plains 100th Anniversary plate - £29.99
Hard-fired porcelain John Wayne Knives Collection - £29.99
John Wayne: An American Legend Glass Mug Collection - £59.97
For the hardcore John Wayne fan - and by hardcore, I mean you actually believe you are John Wayne himself - everything with his face on cost altogether £2089.17. I haven't even spent that on instruments. I know little about John Wayne. All that I do know is that he was mostly a cowboy actor and judging by his paraphernalia, he was a keen drinker; he lived in the dark; hated china plates and thought he was an 'American Icon.' Again, why would you want his face on your radio? Who looks at a radio for a start? What next? The John Wayne Laptop? Nobody needs that much rubbish unless you really are going crazy. But crazy enough for...Oh my giddy God! What the hell is that?!
I know the internet is full of weird and disturbing crap but this is a whole new realm of weird. Okay, maybe there is a market with John Wayne and Elvis but compared to something like this...Oh, I'd rather not know the person who spends another £100 buying what looks like the link Darwin missed out of the Evolution Chart. Little Umi is the creation of the demented Wendy Dickison. Honestly, she must have woke up one morning and literally thought "what isn't there enough of in the world? Buses? No, we've got a couple of them...Clouds? No, we've got them too. Weird monkey dolls...Nope, no one is that disturbing to make something as deranged as that. But wait. Just put some people clothes on it and it's normal. Hurray, let the money rolling begin!"
It goes on "...You'll be entranced by Little Umi's gentle eyes, thick dark lashes and her all-over wispy red hair, meticulously rooted by hand for a totally natural look." You actually mean to say that there is a man or woman putting the hairs on this thing for an actual job? How far do you have to stoop to do a job like that? Were they rejected from Mattel for being mad and putting too much hair on Barbie and so had to be moved to do this? It makes perfect sense. And as far as being entranced by the eyes, I think the term is insomnia. You will never want to sleep again because every time you close your eyes, you will see the dark ones of a weird chimp-child staring back at you. Get it away from me now with a random click.
Okay maybe it wasn't a random click but it was less disturbing than the thing on the previous page. It is worth a mention though. With the royal wedding looming this year, this has got be up there with the plates and Tea-towels.
Kate Middleton must be reveling in horror at this. A figurine of herself. She famously waited 9 years for Prince William to pop the question. After seeing this, she'll be hoping it was 10 years. Because another year will give her a chance to get so far away from things like this. It doesn't even look like her! We'll maybe if she'd been given a gallon of botox injected into her face. Or is that the expert hand painting. It's worth it's money though...twenty quid! I can't see Kate getting given one of these on her big day. Mainly because she already knows what she looks like, never mind being a figurine. Expect the unused ones to be turned into 'The Royal Collection: Cheryl Cole - The Peoples Princess from the Telly.' And, why oh why oh why hasn't William been turned into a porcelain model? Probably got something to do with if he wants it doing then so would Harry. And then they're dad. And eventually the Queen and Albert. And then it'll go into the minor royals like Zara Phillips and Sarah Furguson and Camilla. I think they're trying to cash in on it in case something disastrous happens. Like a divorce. Just goes to show; you should have beaten William to it. You had 9 years! But you failed to ask Kate to marry you so you don't feel left out, you can now own your own Kate Middleton.
Oh no...I don't believe this...A question has been answered!
Well that answers that ol' chestnut. The same weirdo's buying Kate Middleton are the same people buying the chimp-child.
Now, moving cheaply on, The Kate thing was priced at just under £20. So what about the not so pricey gifts. The answer is don't buy them either. They are just as bad as each other. There's nine pages of the rubbish. They can't sell it so they bang down the price and see what happens. I can't list them all, I'm sorry. If you want to buy a gift for someone, don't rule this out but put it at the top of the list then put Toys R Us next because the toy shop will have more you want. I guarantee that. Go to Toys R Us and see what I mean. You will find something of 1) value, 2) entertainment, 3) that has character and 4) isn't tacky. You can the get it out of the way and done and never return!
On the plus side I do like how the website subtly and subconsciously tries to make you buy their stuff with a notice at the side that says "you do not have any products in your shopping basket yet," and I can't for the life of me see why...
You can visit the Bradford Exchange at http://www.bradford.co.uk/. Although I don't suggest you do.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Is Google becoming a bit too close to the knuckle?
A post that I posted a few days ago was branding Google as the start of the internet for many people. Google has thousands of searches on thousands of things. There's gotta be some filth somewhere in all that, surely? So when I visit my dear friend Rowan's Blog, I found this post stating that he searched the word 'special' on Google and I thought I'd give it a go, to see if there was anything else worth a comment on. And lo and behold, I found this:
Ironically, it had nothing to do with the pictures, but the related searches. 'Special offer' clearly acceptable but then we're struck with the almighty bombshell with the word 'retard.' How blunt does it have to be? It doesn't even let you assume. They could have simply put 'special needs' but no. We're give retards on a plate. It's even clickable and you can then see what what special could also mean. Also, even more ironically, Special K doesn't even get a related search. Which goes to show that on Google's 1,010,000,000 (I don't know how to pronounce it. One hundred and million million million and something) pages of the word special, the healthy Kelloggs cereal is not as popular retards.
(Many thanks to Rowan for giving me inspiration for this post. Go check his website out at http://www.blaktornado.com/)
Friday, 21 May 2010
Best Websites Ever!
I thought, this blog could do with a list of all the websites that I think are genius. We all know that the internet is a big place. There is litterally anything to do with anything on the internet. It's one of them inventions that changed the face of modern technology. It just keeps getting more massive as the days go on. So, I've gone through a selection of some of the best websites I've come across on my adventures. Some of them maybe obvious but obviously, I'll give you a reason why they appear here on this list.
http://www.google.co.uk/ - A nice easy one here. Google is the internet to a lot of people. In a basic summary, if anyone is unsure of anything, then Google it! They 99% of the time will have the answer. It may not be the right answer but an answer none-the-less! In fact, Pac-Man made a guest appearence on the main page. As with Google's tradition, they like to put up Google Doodles to show an anniversay of something that means something to the people. In my case tonight, it was the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man.
http://www.cracked.com/ - I discovered Cracked around about Summer last year after I was searching for a list of "Silly band names." One of the links I found was to Cracked.com (an American magazine and main rivals to Mad Magazine) and so I naturally followed the link and ended up on the site. And oh my god! I was hooked. I didn't know someone could laugh so much at written work. I just didn't see it possible! Cracked mainly focus on list based humour - where I get the inspiration from for this blog actually - and a different angle on society and life. And it's not all. They have regular videos, pictures and photoshop competitions too, that are presented in a similar way. It's just unbelievably hilarious although it is an equired taste, but still...the majority of the people who I've showed it to are now also fans. Oh and please note, I'm not knicking Cracked's format, I'm just presenting it in a style that'll be more relatable to a British audience.
http://www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/ - Everybody knows Wikipedia. Whether it's to find out the information from a Tv show, information on a person (dead or alive) or just to copy and paste something into your essay, wikipedia has it all. All very good (we'll think about the latter). The Uncyclopedia is owned by the same company but is totally a whole different barrel of salmon! Uncyclopedia is exactly the opposite of Wiki.' It rips everything to shreds with its satirical look on everything. And the best thing is, you can edit it. Like Wiki, it is monitered and they do issue you with advice to be funny and not just stupid, which just goes to show, something as funny as this can be quite professional.
http://www.netdisaster.com/ - I really would have liked to put it on this list because NetDisaster is the business! But since they got cautioned for looking like a phishing site, they were ordered to shut up shot. Back in the days, NetDisaster gave you the control to destroy any website of your choice. Just type in the web address, pick the torture (Spray can, chainsaw, vomit, etc) and watch as it get's trashed. I actually miss it, but they do give you the chance to do it to your own desktop now. All is not lost in the world of NetDisaster!
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/ - IWOOT made an appearence in my gadget blog last year and even though its an online shop, it's a brilliant online shop. IWOOT specialises in awesome (and they say this themselves) stuff that you really want, but don't necessarily need. The staff on there know how to write about the stuff they test. It's full of humour no matter which gadget it is. They give it a sparkle, even if you think it's not very good, they seem to. The thing is, everything is good on that site. So good, that almost everything needs to be bought. And it's probably this reason why I Want One of Those is on here and Amazon isn't.
http://www.snopes.com/ - Snopes is a website that specialises in Urban legends and folklore from around the planet. If there's a rumour that seems too unrealistic to be true, Snope go and find out if it's true or not. And to be honest, it's all actually very surprising how much of it turns out to be true. And it's got all the classics like lore relating to Coca-cola, Elvis and James Dean's Porsche Spyder that went on a murderous rampage, long after Dean's tragic death. Some of the things that appear on there really do make you think twice before venturing out your own door but the majority of times what you think may be real, is actually a load of nonesense. A bit like QI. But if it's true, then it's true, but that can be a good thing.
http://www.uk.askmen.com/ - Online magazines are the best. Ask Men is full of some very useful information. Info from how to excersise efficiently to cars to celebrities, all with the blokey attitude. There's is actually quite a lot packed onto this website but it looks smart and it is smart. Not all of the information is reliable but as something to read and to expand 0n, this does the job very well. And then you've got the little bit's like viewers surveys, jokes, pictures and all stuff like that. It makes it very compulsive.
http://www.moviemistakes.com/ - You get some nerds who purposely watch a film and look for mistakes. So rather than having one as a friend, have this handy site to find the bits you missed that you weren't supposed to see. It's amazing what some films get away with. It's probably a matter of "oh, we'll leave it in anyway" in the editing room. They don't just do the mistakes either. There's lists of trivia, quotes and corrections that the nerds get wrong. A little like IMDB but more in touch with the people.
http://www.imcdb.org/ and http://www.igcd.net/ - are very similar websites. Following from the Internet Movie Database way of things, the Internet Movie Car Database and the Internet Game Car Database are for car fans respectively. I know not everyone is a fan of cars but these are actually very good, especially to see what's what in films or games. The IMCDB shows any car that has appeared in any film or TV show. The same with the IGCD but with video games (it's very good for looking at what cars the fictional vehicles in Grand Theft Auto should look like). They both show you what your not looking for, probably, when comes to either of them but they're still good to look over.
http://www.google.co.uk/ - A nice easy one here. Google is the internet to a lot of people. In a basic summary, if anyone is unsure of anything, then Google it! They 99% of the time will have the answer. It may not be the right answer but an answer none-the-less! In fact, Pac-Man made a guest appearence on the main page. As with Google's tradition, they like to put up Google Doodles to show an anniversay of something that means something to the people. In my case tonight, it was the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man.
http://www.cracked.com/ - I discovered Cracked around about Summer last year after I was searching for a list of "Silly band names." One of the links I found was to Cracked.com (an American magazine and main rivals to Mad Magazine) and so I naturally followed the link and ended up on the site. And oh my god! I was hooked. I didn't know someone could laugh so much at written work. I just didn't see it possible! Cracked mainly focus on list based humour - where I get the inspiration from for this blog actually - and a different angle on society and life. And it's not all. They have regular videos, pictures and photoshop competitions too, that are presented in a similar way. It's just unbelievably hilarious although it is an equired taste, but still...the majority of the people who I've showed it to are now also fans. Oh and please note, I'm not knicking Cracked's format, I'm just presenting it in a style that'll be more relatable to a British audience.
http://www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/ - Everybody knows Wikipedia. Whether it's to find out the information from a Tv show, information on a person (dead or alive) or just to copy and paste something into your essay, wikipedia has it all. All very good (we'll think about the latter). The Uncyclopedia is owned by the same company but is totally a whole different barrel of salmon! Uncyclopedia is exactly the opposite of Wiki.' It rips everything to shreds with its satirical look on everything. And the best thing is, you can edit it. Like Wiki, it is monitered and they do issue you with advice to be funny and not just stupid, which just goes to show, something as funny as this can be quite professional.
http://www.netdisaster.com/ - I really would have liked to put it on this list because NetDisaster is the business! But since they got cautioned for looking like a phishing site, they were ordered to shut up shot. Back in the days, NetDisaster gave you the control to destroy any website of your choice. Just type in the web address, pick the torture (Spray can, chainsaw, vomit, etc) and watch as it get's trashed. I actually miss it, but they do give you the chance to do it to your own desktop now. All is not lost in the world of NetDisaster!
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/ - IWOOT made an appearence in my gadget blog last year and even though its an online shop, it's a brilliant online shop. IWOOT specialises in awesome (and they say this themselves) stuff that you really want, but don't necessarily need. The staff on there know how to write about the stuff they test. It's full of humour no matter which gadget it is. They give it a sparkle, even if you think it's not very good, they seem to. The thing is, everything is good on that site. So good, that almost everything needs to be bought. And it's probably this reason why I Want One of Those is on here and Amazon isn't.
http://www.snopes.com/ - Snopes is a website that specialises in Urban legends and folklore from around the planet. If there's a rumour that seems too unrealistic to be true, Snope go and find out if it's true or not. And to be honest, it's all actually very surprising how much of it turns out to be true. And it's got all the classics like lore relating to Coca-cola, Elvis and James Dean's Porsche Spyder that went on a murderous rampage, long after Dean's tragic death. Some of the things that appear on there really do make you think twice before venturing out your own door but the majority of times what you think may be real, is actually a load of nonesense. A bit like QI. But if it's true, then it's true, but that can be a good thing.
http://www.uk.askmen.com/ - Online magazines are the best. Ask Men is full of some very useful information. Info from how to excersise efficiently to cars to celebrities, all with the blokey attitude. There's is actually quite a lot packed onto this website but it looks smart and it is smart. Not all of the information is reliable but as something to read and to expand 0n, this does the job very well. And then you've got the little bit's like viewers surveys, jokes, pictures and all stuff like that. It makes it very compulsive.
http://www.moviemistakes.com/ - You get some nerds who purposely watch a film and look for mistakes. So rather than having one as a friend, have this handy site to find the bits you missed that you weren't supposed to see. It's amazing what some films get away with. It's probably a matter of "oh, we'll leave it in anyway" in the editing room. They don't just do the mistakes either. There's lists of trivia, quotes and corrections that the nerds get wrong. A little like IMDB but more in touch with the people.
http://www.imcdb.org/ and http://www.igcd.net/ - are very similar websites. Following from the Internet Movie Database way of things, the Internet Movie Car Database and the Internet Game Car Database are for car fans respectively. I know not everyone is a fan of cars but these are actually very good, especially to see what's what in films or games. The IMCDB shows any car that has appeared in any film or TV show. The same with the IGCD but with video games (it's very good for looking at what cars the fictional vehicles in Grand Theft Auto should look like). They both show you what your not looking for, probably, when comes to either of them but they're still good to look over.
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